Broiled, Not GrilledWednesday, March 15, 2017
If you identify with being a female, and you've lived to this day (to read this), there's no way you bypassed harassment or molestation of some kind. No matter where. No matter how old. If you come with a set of tits, eyes and a face, it's probably happened to you.
The meninist in you would ask me, why limit it to the women. Why not extend that logic to men. Or, how about, "#NotAllMen" and I would probably have nothing to say, except "fuck off" in my head. I'm trying this new thing these days. It involves cursing people in my head, as opposed to saying it out loud. Been quite a hit with my social circle.
So, when a certain influential content creator came in the limelight for being accused of sexual harassment, by someone who claims to be a former employee, very interesting chain of events unfolded. Besides the person who's identified as the original complainant, several other women have come forth to recite their version of the story- with the same nemesis. The content creator, according to a whole bunch of women on the internet- has a reputation of being outward with compliments, touch and other detail which pains me to no extent. Some claim this is normal for a heterosexual male, while the others are screaming their lungs out towards pointing that it's inappropriate. Largely, most people agree with the following two things:
1) This person could be operating as a sexual predator, but this is no way to assassinate his character on Social Media.
2) There is no way in which you can emerge out unscathed from a situation where you've been molested/harassed.
While social media is that platform that keeps on giving and multiple versions of the incidents exist according to sources, people are arguing over all sorts of things. "The grammar of the girl is poor, she does not know at best how to articulate."
If you've been anywhere close to being molested by someone, felt violated by such an act or been harassed by an institution/authority/person in power, and you've gathered the courage to say it out loud, you will be torn apart.
It's difficult. It's fucking hard to speak. To recite what went down and to be able to articulate at best. Not everyone comes with copyeditors. Not everyone was privileged to go attend a convent school and have impeccable English while reciting three-year long trauma at the workplace.
I'm not saying let's persecute the guy, I'm only saying, be a bit more sympathetic to the woman. To the person who's complained. To the one who's spoken out.
It takes months of courage, determination and the strength to consider that one should raise their voice about something like this.
It's very hard to make sense, to type and to speak about what happened to you. For one, you lose trust. You do not want people to come near you, to be with you, to hear you. This, if you find yourself not disgusting enough to look at with empathy.
Anyone who decides to speak, is aware of how badly they will be subjected to public lynching. To have been convinced that you are right and you'd like to point at another rational adult about something as serious as this requires thinking. I'd like to believe, no person who does it, does it without thinking of the outcome. How will it affect her career, her future, her family, her close relatives- all these before speaking out against the one who has done her wrong. This is the BASIC PREMISE of establishing that you'd like to go ahead and report someone to the masss.
For the argument against not going to the cop/taking a while to come out say- I've one word. Trauma.
Trauma can literally push you into a shell where you would not like to step out and speak. Speak of anything to anyone. It sounds impossible, for words to escape your body and your head. They're forming just fine but they refuse to be uttered out loud.
You feel disgusted. Responsible for all that happened, because you weren't careful enough.
If you had better judgement, it probably wouldn't happen. Amirite?
Forget that, if you now possess better judgement, don't speak. Because if you speak, you'll be subjected to witchhunting, name calling, finger pointing and lampooning- as opposed to be taken seriously. Just for once. Just without any questioning.
This thread upset me. It should upset you as well. This is the world we live in. Fuck your celebrations and fuck your glee.