Bang Cock isn't happening this year because of a lot of twisted reasons.
However, Bang Cock could. It could if I tried hard enough. It could totally happen if I tried which I'm not, because I'm doing a new thing. It involves the universe taking it's own fucking path. That, my friend, is my new end game.
It doesn't bode well when you're a control freak and you pretend to let the universe take the charge. In this game, the universe shows you two options- one where you regain control and go to Bangkok, or the second where you fight to go to Bangkok and mid way realize, if it has to happen, it will.
You can call it laziness, Mercury retrograde or that the universe doesn't want me to have a good time. I'm going to stay right here and see how it unfolds this year again. Will it be a bench outside the hospital, will be it on a middle seat, far back in the aircraft and the immigration officer telling me I'm too young to travel alone? It could very well be here, in a standstill at work, after which I'll go home, change into sweatpants, dunk half a bottle of vodka in my system and go the fuck to sleep. It doesn't sound too bad. Neither does Christmas on a beach. Which isn't happening.
To make myself feel better, I'm going to list the things I can do if I don't end up going to Thigh Land in my now not so toned calves and legs. Bear with me. I mean, I don't have to necessarily do this, but someone told me, if you have the money, you should go. And, well, I do have the money to go. Here we are-
1) Uber Premier Rides to everywhere for three months.
2) Expensive alcohol at bars for one month.
3) Pedicure once every month for six months.
4) More garbage from Ali Express every week for two months.
5) Atleast two shopping trips from Humayunpur, one for every month for three months.
Yeah, not an awful lot. But what can we do, it's the doing of the universe.
