Outtakes from the launch of the first book I worked on (almost singlehandedly).

1) Bring a plus one. Even if the invite blatantly says 'Admit One'. Ask out anyone who can look good and smell better.

2) Take into account you live in Delhi. Leave an hour earlier than when you're supposed to arrive. Or forever live in regret that your team left after taking one selfie with you.

3) Speaking of leaving, come prepared with a disappearing act. The best time to practice that would be when the person getting honoured that night turns out to be batshit crazy (could someone arrange for a nude-photo shoot?).

4) Come stoned. You cannot do this sober. Especially if it involves you keeping a straight face through the course of the event.

5) Speaking of the event, food would suck. Unless it's organized by the company I work for. Who the fuck pairs Bhindi and Chole with Goan Fish Curry at a book launch dinner?

6) Find hobbies. This isn't an accessory. It only comes handy when you put to perspective that you spent close to four hours at that launch without any member of your team.

7) Remember: the darker the shade of your lipstick and the more important a certain event, the more disastrous you'd look. My deep plum lipstick broke cause it fell in the washbasin. My phone stopped working after the party. All I had was 2 glasses of JD and Coke.

8) Keep sober. I cannot emphasize this enough. Applicable if you're the point of contact between the clients and the content. Content being living beings.

9) DO NOT BITCH ABOUT THE CLIENT AT THE EVENT. THEY CAN HEAR THAT SHIT.

10) Keep looking for job openings on your way. Do you really want people to believe you can be tied down to a desk with a day job?