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In carbs are the fucking worst, Dahli Dahlink

Leprecant

One day, I aspire to be as cool as the guy who runs Irish Castle Café in this cramped space in GK-2. The man shows up to work once a week, at around 1:34 pm and sits with his feet crossed, on the table facing the customers. He stays for about 3 hours or so, until he gets bored and runs out of...

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In Am I The Only One? Yeah, Beck

It's 2017 and we are all so basic, it hurts

I don't fucking understand, why is all my feed going nuts over Taylor Swift when Beck's coming out with new material at the same fucking time? IS EVERYONE I DEAL WITH GOING THROUGH A NUTTY BREAKUP? I also don't understand the need for memes that read, "I won't be impressed with technology until it allows me to download food." Well, first of all,...

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In 16 going on 26, depressed but well dressed

TwentySex Wishlist

In no specific list of want/need, here is my list of crap that I desire to be gifted (if you're planning to buy me something for my Twenty Sexth) - 1) Personalized sticky notes and letter heads - Complete with the title on the top "From the desk of *insert Aadhar card name*. Contact me for design ideas. Location - Can be done...

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In Americano, Dahli Dahlink

SDA - My Foster Home

If places could be personified, then SDA might be the only place in Delhi which would have seen most of my dates and I, together. It's strange, if you think about it. You're attempting to forge intimacy with someone and yet, zero to few people know them, let alone have met them. Unless ofcourse you're Divyanshu's version of a woman, where everyone tells...

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In dead inside, dead outside

Death is Killing It

"I'd prefer a death by cheese. Warm, melting, salty and runny cheese on a slice of toasted white bread. Maybe some coleslaw on the side. Nothing more." "I want to die of an overdose of sleep. Like slept for 16 hours, and never woke up. That's my only ambition left in life, worth pursuing. There's nothing else I'd rather have or want or...

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In burning fat, carbs are the fucking worst

Is it too late to now say I quit?

I have got egg yolk remains stuck in my nail bed from last night's dinner (fried egg), so I suppose, this will keep the post short. It also calls for washing hands, but let's be real, my office smells like turd factory and despite loading on soap + shampoo + loofah + handwash + shower, it hasn't been helpful. Washing hands means getting...

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In beach please, Becky and her hair can die

To The Left, To The Left

I think I know why Beyoncé wrote Irreplaceable. Way ahead of her time, she gave us all an indication of what's about to come. From indicating a left turn to being Single Ladies and finally, asking us to raise our middle fingers up, put them hands high, only to wave it in his face, tell him, boy, bye. An hour long stint on...

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In childhood, depressed but well dressed

My Parents Are My Tinder

"How did you celebrate your birthday?" "I'm going to go to Barbecue Nation for dinner." "Oh man, every parent I know loves that place." "Ofcourse, Barbecue Nation is like a 28 year old Hindu Brahmin engineer boy who owns an i10, has an MBA degree from a university abroad and he knows how to talk." "...Wow." "Yeah man, all parents lose their mind...

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In beach please, clients before clits

This could be an open letter but you are too much of a cunt

Dear Photographers, Why must you insist on making everyone's lives miserable around you? I see you with gaudily dressed couples who insist on crossing the road in front of my car when I am heading towards Kasturba Gandhi Marg from India Gate. I judge you, and not the couple, for the road opposite KG Marg doesn't even have the best view for pre-wedding...

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