You've no idea how high I can fly

Thursday, February 13, 2020

A thing that no break-up or an equivalent parting teaches you is how to get past a job that ends. As a recruiter friend points out, nobody cares about your sob story and you need to be clear af about what you need from a half an hour chat, let me jump straight to the point.

What happens after a job ends?

Nothing is an incorrect entry.

Well, you'd imagine nothing because it's ended, right? Can't start new things when an old is wrapping operations.

Quite the opposite, if you're unlucky or me.
Lucky is the person who still has a place to go to on Monday morning other than turning sides in their bed. More on that at the end of the post.

Generally, there are numerous handovers, countless places to sign out of (god save you if you're running digital campaigns and have created pages for organizations) and just about half a dozen reports to wrap because life's short and the job shorter (said no hooker ever). If you are me, chances are you'll have to wrap six months' worth of work in three days.

I'll cut to the chase and share some of the finest parting words that loved ones have shared in times of things falling apart (and by that mean the gorgeous jumpsuit I saw at the Chinatown equivalent of New Delhi which was coming off at seams and at 80% off).

You want to come to Goa with me? I'm going next month. 

This is the universe telling you to take a break. Take a break!

What plans now? Are you taking a break?

Send me your CV. 

You need a break. Take a break. 

What are you planning to do?

Take a trip to Thailand and get a massage or two. You'll feel great!

Go back to grad school and do your Ph.D. What's a job giving you anyway? 

Why don't you come to Nainital with me? 

What next?

Apply here! (job opening attached; nobody has ever heard of the organization)

I told you, should have taken a break year ago. 

Do you want to transcribe medical bills? There's an opening I can hook you up with. 

Your grandfather is still alive and you don't need to worry about your expenses. 

Why don't you apply to that *insert a new startup that nobody's heard of* and write for them? 

Finish your Ph.D. now that this is over. You'll be a doctor. 

Just take some time and reflect on what is it that you want to do next. 

Send me your updated CV. I've sent you a referral. 

Why don't you go to Thailand? 

Omg, you should totally write a book!

Did you apply to the job opening I sent to you? 

Don't go to Thailand. It's infected with Corona Virus. 

What are you planning to do now? Are you applying to jobs?

You should go to Thailand but don't spend all your money shopping. 

Why don't you write for *insert a publication that I absolutely detest*? You'll be great!

Oh noo. What will you do now? 

You should move to Canada and find a job there!

Why don't you write your Netflix Original that you've been talking about? 

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