Green is whoreish

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Madonna had four minutes and I have ten. She's also well over 50 and I'm barely able to keep up in my 20s. Let's see, an executive summary of where I am at.

Taking a break is a lot like working on an MPhil or PhD. It's the same routine, the same sense of never-ending guilt. The goals and plans for the day resemble the same PhD day schedule. Between reading and writing it is all- I'll drive the car today, play the game I bought, paint some and read some more. Instead, it becomes, I'll be on my laptop researching, wasting some time, taking a break to watch the Office season 9 that I don't even enjoy. Same old, new bottle.

Well today, I decided to shake my life and do something that I hadn't done in months.


Baking is a solitary pleasure mixed with science. The latter, I'm pretty sure, is unforgiving as my cake has risen from the center from not as much from the other sides. The former, I tried to immensely enjoy and later failed. The endeavour to enjoy that solitary pleasure was interrupted by phone calls, doorbells, more phone calls, text messages, heck even video calls. Now while I wait for the cake to be done, I'm alternating between typing and painting my nails. Sunday after my own heart.

The last few weeks have been a rollercoaster ride. Some old people revisiting life as I bid goodbye to the life I had curated in the last one year. I've done things I wouldn't otherwise, including going to Gurgaon, painting my toe-nails in a deep shade of Industrial Green, planned two short vacations, ate more than I did in the last three years, stayed up every night for no reason and then passed out early without my night routine. In short, I'm shaking things up to feel something and I'm pleased to say, I've felt a lot and done nothing.

It's exactly the kind of break people asked me to take and I'm on it. Including my toenails, feeling the blues. The unemployed blues. 

It sucks balls. I don't know how people do it and emerge better than ever. I'm sucking at even taking a break.

Meanwhile, if you're my freelance client, you'll have the piece soon. I promise. Here's some Shutterstock cake, meanwhile. I obviously didn't bake this.

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