Stoner Friend and I

Monday, October 21, 2013

I- ...Anyhow, I've planned my outfit for my live show. I planned the ensemble while I was lazying around in the morning today. After trying it, I can't wait to wear it for the show. It looks smashing.

SF- Acha, let's meet in college tomorrow. Okay bye.


SF- Hahahahaha.

I- *?!* Why on earth would you hang up?

SF- Hahahahaha.

I- Dude I just called you. You're the worst.

Stoner Friend- Can you hold on for a second? (Without waiting for reply) Hold on for a second. I need to wash my hands.

*After 1 minute 34 seconds*

SF- Yeah..?

I- So I am wearing black cropped pants with my striped black and white top which I will team up with black fitted blazer. It's not entirely black. More or less grey/black tone. I will do my hair in a high bun, wear your glasses and my red lipstick.

SF- I hope you do someone that day.

I- HOW? It's a series of dry spell in my life.

SF- Why?

I- No one's in sight, man. No one's showing any interest.

SF- I am sure someone will do you after you turn up like that.

I- No chance. It's so bad that the other night when I drunk dialled two different guys. Don't think anyone appreciated it.

SF- Nobody drunk dials me.

I- Yeah, cause you're boring.

SF- Exactly why you should have. I'd have gotten you sober. 

I- Exactly why I didn't drunk dial you.

SF- I'd have talked like *imitates drowsy voice* "Hello? Yeah, let's talk tomorrow." 

I- How exactly would that be fun?

SF- FUCK. Oh god.

I- What happened?

SF- Can you hold on for a second? (Without waiting for reply) Hold on for a second. I lost my sanitizer.

I- You just washed your hands.

SF- But I can't find my sanitizer. I want to use it. I had mutton for dinner.

I- You got mutton?

SF-…In my dabba, yep. It was quite delicious.

I- Time to write a letter to the person who accidentally sent you mutton?

SF- Even in Delhi, dabbawallahs have a scope of messing up.

I- Your MILF moment has arrived. A boring housewife awaits your letter on the other end.

SF- Fuck man, I have misplaced my bottle of sanitizer.

I- Your OCD has resurfaced hasn't it?

SF- Yeah.

I- Don't fool around. Tell me honestly, do you feel uncomfortable when you go around spending a while without washing hands.

SF- *distracted* yeah.

I- You do?

SF- Yeah.

I- You know yesterday I dropped some melted chocolate on my fresh bed sheet. My mother was so mad at me. 

SF- Is the bed cover removable?

I- Yeah.

SF- Remove it and send it to *insert a specialised cleaning service agency*

I- Hm.

SF- Those guys can remove any kind of stain.

I- Hm.

SF- They know I return my fabrics back to them if it comes back with the stain so on personal level they return it themselves for a second round of cleaning. 

I- Hm.

SF- Their service is really good.

I- Hm.

SF- I have all sorts of stain removers at my place. For different kinds of fabrics- nylon, cotton, silk- everything.

I- Okay.

SF- You should get your white tshirt bleached. It'll help the pink colour stain go. 

I- Yeah, I should start sending my laundry to you now.

SF- Yeah, see you in college tomorrow. Bye.

I- *?!*

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