Making up your mind to never speak again but losing your goddamn mind when there's no check-in post-dinner

Knowing your shit will not fly and yet pooping hard to ruin the day

Screaming, crying, throwing up to change your ways to save and impulse-buying onion fritters twice in one week

Not working out for two months only to crush intense workout goals in the face of a huge health concern scare

Wanting to complain but keeping quiet for the peace of everyone

Telling yourself 'I got you' and then feeling a flatline of deep loneliness 

Planning to quit everything that doesn't honour and respect you back, only to keep crawling back all day, every day

Ranting for three years that things were so bad, and then romanticising, dreaming, considering a third chance five years later because we've seen it all together 

Believing in the best potential and change of heart while ignoring the red carpets flying by 

Onion Pakoda > Onion Bhaji

Also, not the best idea to continue workouts when injured

Retrograde doesn't always have to sweep your ex to the shore. It could be your old self, a layer you shed to make way for the new one, calling you back. It could be an old job, where colleagues seem wonderful and boss seems to have mellowed, it could be the smell of the festive season that fills you with joy for a time that doesn't exist anymore. It could be a chimera, a vision of all that could have been and yet, remains lost.