Almost-legal

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

There's not very much to mark and say in the 17th consecutive year of writing here. I started my career on this page, unknowingly. Today, 17 years later, I am ever so grateful, to myself, for doing that. It's the one relationship that I'm still deriving value from. 


Admittedly, a lot has changed. My hobbies, passions, my day-to-day, my friends, my everything. My world has been rocked, some with my stupidity and others out of my complete control. I miss the recklessness and the hope of my 20s that has been replaced with confidence and acceptance of my 30s. There's not very much left to imagination or to experience. My life peaked and saw a downward curve, it's been a whole lot here and then some silence and lots of changes. If anything, we've been remarkably consistent with change and persistent with logging the details, all the same. 

I think my 30s have brought a whole new crop of people, the majority of whom have no idea I do this or that this page means a whole lot to me. I intend to keep it this way. I intend to keep my life as low-key as I can because what did we get after opening up for all these years? I have no regrets about the love(s) lost but friendships, those fucking hurt. 

In marking 17 years of writing here, I wish to mark my journey with my pals. Some of them shaped a lot of these changes, and suggestions, pinned hope and believed in me, while some others weren't as kind. Most of these pals shaped me into the woman I am today and while there's a lot to say and discuss, I think on a day like this, I most wish to acknowledge those who touched my life and exited. 

I think there's immense gratitude for the patience, love and space they offered when they did and care they nurtured when the fucks were given. Beyond that, everyone had a part to play and they did theirs and waved goodbye. I think, 17 years into writing about me and mine, I feel everyone who has been on this journey with me deserves a shout-out. Those who were regulars with nicknames and those who read me regularly gave me the confidence to continue shitposting. There were those who did neither but stood by me through my tough times. I have nothing but gratitude for them all, in equal measure. There wouldn't be 17 years of writing without you. There wouldn't be me without you. 

It's also not to say that I like most of you cunts and can't stand you but god knows, even when Logan died, everyone cried. I feel a big anniversary or anything to do with this image is imminently like an anti-hero's demise written by Jesse Armstrong. Only, it's too real, and I'm the Waystar RoyCo CEO here. 

I'm not about to make big promises like last year (cause god knows that blew in my face and I am so tired of it all) but I'm about to do what I do best. Write, even when it makes no sense or head or tail to you. I did it at 15, without a plan and I'm here at 32. Not the wisest and also shows little tendency to move on, but hey, you knew what you were signing up for years ago.




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