Wednesday, November 22, 2023

The art of non-confrontation has reached the ADHD part of my brain; I'm fully in hyperactivity mode. Without revealing the timeline and exact order of business, I found myself attending a meeting on one laptop, sending a voice note, chrome window shopping, researching EDP with base notes of citrus and deflecting difficult conversations with the man of the hour. 

Do you generally ignore topics you dont want to discuss or is it something else?

I don't know, man. 

Do I generally find myself wondering if I should buy a Brazillian bum cream or an EDP I don't need in the middle of an economic crisis and no increase in my comp? Do I find an hour-long solidarity call overbearing cause I have to focus on one screen where I'm screen sharing and explaining workflow and ethos all at once? However, the lord knew I needed to give working across multiple screens a break, a work day that goes on longer than usual with loud noises in the background and a disgruntled dog who won't move. It's been mad real and I intend to stretch this hyperactivity for as long as I can. 

To be honest, I don't want to discuss the benefits of buying perfume over bum cream. I also don't want to write a long paragraph that says we will part ways, sooner than we need to. 

If I ever get a time machine, I would go back to 2014 and choose to restart the ugliest, most horribly lonesome points of my life differently. I think the wisdom of choosing better and not cooler has taken a decade but it's an outtake for life. Everyone who chose to be a fucking sellout and cringe a decade ago is thriving, while the rest of us are maxing the self-imposed credit card limit to buy lipsticks, perfumes and eye make up we don't need. 

Also, a notable addition to my hyper-activity is make-up. I've gone from thinking about it to acting on it to now actively considering a skincare routine. Deflection works on a passion level as well; if I can deflect about honing my existing hobbies by acquiring a new one, then welcome me to your eye-make-up club. I will apply the eye shadow all over my cheeks (ACCIDENTALLY) and wait three months to buy a setting spray. 

I did send the essay out, and did learn about celebrity holograms being a thing and that Happy is a great choice for teenage scent and that my friend at work likes the man I like but doesn't think his music is for Christmas. She did also ask me to start investing, ugh. 

I'm investing in my ADHD practices, babe. 

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