Growth Spurt

Thursday, September 28, 2023

Do you ever just feel like along with all your devices, you should be able to charge yourself against the wall before your next usage? 

I've been feeling that way. One vacation was wicked; wicked as hell. Now I've got the taste of what's it like when you're disconnected and in paradise and now I want more. 

I've been taking these little menty-b walks to fill my chest with air outside the stress I'm inhaling during working hours. I've had the strongest urge to restart smoking and quit Diet Coke for good. Among other notable realisations, I've come to the following conclusions—

The greatest brainstorming session I have in the day is not in front of the gaming console or TV (truth be told, I'm not spending as much time as I'd like against either). It is on the track. 

If you think Football boys are annoying (I'm sorry Taylor) try Football kids. If there weren't enough reasons to not have them, getting kicked by their serves at the track twice every week makes for a solid reason to add to my theory- football boys are the worst and kids are truly the worst. 

McDonald's in India hasn't McDonal'd in a while. The food lately has been insipid and the one decent thing that they do (Pizza McPuff), they've plastered Kartik Aaryan's face on the packaging. I don't know which marketing genius ensured that McDonald's started giving out books in lieu of toys and put KA on the cover of what is pao bhaji puff pastry but please, for the love of the lord, bring old McDonald's back. I'm one step away from denouncing my favourite brand in the world. 

Speaking of denouncing, I'm pleased to announce Diet Coke is on its way out of my life. Not because it's cancerous but because it hasn't hit me in a while, the way it used to (before you say, "Maybe it's you," it's not me; I had Lays Magic Masala yesterday to test the theory and I finished a family sized pack after lunch and dessert in one go and it banged as per usual). 

Two litres of water in a day isn't enough, and two slices of pizza are lethal for dinner. I was gasping for breath (gluttony is a sin) after fresh burrata and pesto pizza last night. 

I have fallen out of affection and fondness for four guys this month but got my eyes on three guys this month so it's been net zero, so to say. Feral during ovulation continues. If you are looking to point the incorrect formula then just know this is Girl Math. 

I'm inching very, very close to hating on my day job so we are headed towards 2017-2018 self. The focus will be on physical health and will have to fuck the mental health at work now as a personality. I'm going to be making terrible decisions and heading towards a big ass breakdown in the next three quarters. Excited for my growth!!!!!! (unless the work circumstances change radically or I miraculously land a new job in a different country—both of which are highly unlikely). 

The more glamorous your work profile, the more cunty your day gets. I refuse to elaborate on this. 

I'm living through the fondest memories from this year through fragrances. Actually, strike that, for the last four years. I'm down to the last few drops of this Cherry Blossom perfume I carried with me to Europe and every time I spray that during work, I'm transported to the Shard, having the time of my life. 

My favourite character at the local park is a little girl who makes sand castles out of mud, a beautiful white indie who follows me every time we cross each other till it gets distracted, and a geriatric who makes me wish I had half his energy and strength. 

Much to my dismay, I've become a football girlie. Is it Taylor or is it me or is it Ted Lasso? The devil's in the details but I can confidently say it's not a man. 

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