If you think Football boys are annoying (I'm sorry Taylor) try Football kids. If there weren't enough reasons to not have them, getting kicked by their serves at the track twice every week makes for a solid reason to add to my theory- football boys are the worst and kids are truly the worst. 

McDonald's in India hasn't McDonal'd in a while. The food lately has been insipid and the one decent thing that they do (Pizza McPuff), they've plastered Kartik Aaryan's face on the packaging. I don't know which marketing genius ensured that McDonald's started giving out books in lieu of toys and put KA on the cover of what is pao bhaji puff pastry but please, for the love of the lord, bring old McDonald's back. I'm one step away from denouncing my favourite brand in the world. 

Speaking of denouncing, I'm pleased to announce Diet Coke is on its way out of my life. Not because it's cancerous but because it hasn't hit me in a while, the way it used to (before you say, "Maybe it's you," it's not me; I had Lays Magic Masala yesterday to test the theory and I finished a family sized pack after lunch and dessert in one go and it banged as per usual). 

Two litres of water in a day isn't enough, and two slices of pizza are lethal for dinner. I was gasping for breath (gluttony is a sin) after fresh burrata and pesto pizza last night. 

I have fallen out of affection and fondness for four guys this month but got my eyes on three guys this month so it's been net zero, so to say. Feral during ovulation continues. If you are looking to point the incorrect formula then just know this is Girl Math. 

My favourite character at the local park is a little girl who makes sand castles out of mud, a beautiful white indie who follows me every time we cross each other till it gets distracted, and a geriatric who makes me wish I had half his energy and strength.