Promises
Tuesday, August 01, 2023Why does nobody talk about Keeley and Roy, the way people talk about Jim and Pam? I find it odd, considering they are both a hoot and a half. Wait, don't tell me why. I'm only a few episodes in and I'd like a fresh, new heartbreak in my own time and space now. Not accepting second-hand information.
We're all the main characters of our own lives and we believe to be the main character in everyone else's lives too. Any consumer-facing company that gets it, gets it. Spotify customised four different breakup playlists for me (?!) and I'm proud to say the metal breakup edit was solid, like real 8/10 bangers.
I'm back with writing in full swing with music next to me. I only noticed this today when I actually felt withdrawals while writing in silence. Although, this is work-related writing so is it even legit? I'll consider this a win when it's actual academic work or journal writing. I'm blasting that metal breakup playlist as I write this, so you know this isn't serious. I should cut myself some slack, I keep getting told the same thing over and over again from everyone in my life. Go easy, be gentle but this is me being fucking gentle and easy peasy. I bought four fucking perfumes in a little over a month when I hadn't bought even one in over ten years so you know, I'm being real gentle on life.
My next purchase has to be a TV, a big family-level purchase. Considering I'm not planning to have a family of my own, this is as close to getting my head in the game, is going to be. It's funny, ain't it, people who raise you and be there for you are somehow the caregivers but family is a term given to your future post-30s, where you're expected to wear a rock (till you/your partner gives up on you and you go down a divorce lawyer route/swinging/open marriage route, though to be absolutely fair, people in the last couple of columns could wear a rock and be polyamorous or open their marriages, who am I to say anything); and raise your kids (humans, dogs, cats, etc) with a partner of your/your caregivers' choice.
I'm back with writing in full swing with music next to me. I only noticed this today when I actually felt withdrawals while writing in silence. Although, this is work-related writing so is it even legit? I'll consider this a win when it's actual academic work or journal writing. I'm blasting that metal breakup playlist as I write this, so you know this isn't serious. I should cut myself some slack, I keep getting told the same thing over and over again from everyone in my life. Go easy, be gentle but this is me being fucking gentle and easy peasy. I bought four fucking perfumes in a little over a month when I hadn't bought even one in over ten years so you know, I'm being real gentle on life.
My next purchase has to be a TV, a big family-level purchase. Considering I'm not planning to have a family of my own, this is as close to getting my head in the game, is going to be. It's funny, ain't it, people who raise you and be there for you are somehow the caregivers but family is a term given to your future post-30s, where you're expected to wear a rock (till you/your partner gives up on you and you go down a divorce lawyer route/swinging/open marriage route, though to be absolutely fair, people in the last couple of columns could wear a rock and be polyamorous or open their marriages, who am I to say anything); and raise your kids (humans, dogs, cats, etc) with a partner of your/your caregivers' choice.
Engagement/marriage rings are funny. How are those any bit different than meaningless words/promises people make? I'll do XYZ for you is just as bad as someone throwing a manufactured rock at you to convey they have your back. It's like your cat telling you I love you by biting your nose off, a bit of an outlandish act, if you ask me. But again, Venus is in retrograde and I'm listening to metal breakup numbers so I'm really not the target audience to talk about romance right now. Not to say romance is dead; I'm a firm believer in the healing powers of a love song and a romantic comedy with a budding talking stage but god, right now I'm nauseated. Kinda like someone feeding you a lot of cake, a lot of empty words and hollow promises are being eschewed out of my body and mind, against all my will. Apparently, this is what is called 'moving on'. Yuck.
Anyway, our TV has died and this is the second time in my living memory this happened. The first time around I was 10 and my grandmom got detected with cancer. As a 10-year-old, losing a big TV and watching your grandmother get bedridden was heartbreaking in equal measure.
This time around, my gaming has come to a halt. Who knows what other heartbreaks I'll have to share with losing my TV.
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