Glorious Spring

Monday, February 28, 2022

 I returned home yesterday after a day trip to Rajasthan for a little something. Apparently, there's an embargo on that subject so you'll have to imagine the purpose. Anyway, the first thought I had when I walked in from the porch towards the door is to meet my grandfather, say hi and tell him all about my day. Except, it only occurred to me when I stepped in...

Other than that, I haven't had much energy to be upset over other things. I'm on autopilot which means 6 out of 7 days I spend in my room, working on my projects and doing my thing. In some ways, this reminds me a lot about being 13-14 all over again. I'm reconnecting with hobbies, brooding inwards and spending time filling that cup that needs tender love and care and all that in between. I've nothing to complain about the process. It's stimulating to consume things that I know will build me up to be a force to reckon with. I've always gained from this. 

A few days back I had a huge breakdown that I somehow knew was PMS. You know, it's an odd kind of feeling when shit you've suppressed gets out and explodes in someone's face who's been pestering you about it? That's awful when you're living through it and worse when you're aware it's your period causing that grief. I have to say, this outburst was a bad one, and it happened after a long time. For 2-3 months, I'd been suppressing a similar outbreak but this time my emotions got the better of me. 

Other than that, I feel fucking fantastic. Spring is upon us, which means it feels like fucking Summer day in the face and a chilly Winter night and I love this contrast. It feels like fucking magic each year and I feel on top of the fucking world, the best of both, if I may. 

I fucking love re-writing things, change of season when we move towards the Summer and all things that come back after a long fucking time. I love myself in the light of everything I have seen, been a part of and done and after a long fucking time I feel great about being myself. Nothing might be going my way but I'm fucking invincible. 

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