Unacceptable COVID banter/small talk/post result chat (unsolicited):

How did you get it? 

I don't think you noticed but that's an ongoing global pandemic. I didn't exactly push myself to walk into a COVID ward at a hospital to "get it". Kinda like saying, a rape victim was "asking for it". 

What are you doing for food?

Reframe that question to, "What can I send you to make you feel better?"

I don't think my parents/boyfriend/employer/street dog is gonna let me meet you now, even when you recover. 

Okay, thanks. Not that I was keen on socializing but good to know I have illiterates masquerading as literates among my circle. 

Why don't you eat healthy food instead?

Go sit in the Sun. I read in this research. 

No, I'm burning with fever. I'm not sitting in the fucking Sun.

Get off your phone and rest. 

Buddy, I'm cooped up in a room. WITH NOTHING TO DO AND NO ENERGY TO DO ANYTHING. If being able to hold my phone and shitpost and distract me and not want to kill me is my jam, let me be. 

Gargle with Betadine. 

No.