Recipe: Disaster (serves one)

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Recipe for Disaster

(This dish is my all time favourite. It comes from self-destructive ideas which are harboured when I spend time staring at the walls of my room. This dish is easy to assemble when I'm on a sugar rush. The beauty of this dish comes out when you assemble each component fresh, into this beautiful cocktail of disaster.)


2, demanding bosses, freshly cut 
1, Leftist University, dried 
250 gms/ 1 bowl, annoying clients, sliced
100 gms/ 3 tbsp, crippling depression, chopped 
100 gms/ 3 tbsp, anxiety and stress, paste 
120 gms/ 4 tbsp, vacation plans, dried
500 gms/ 2 bowls, marketing and events, shavings
500 gms/ 2 bowls, writers block, fresh 
4-5, miffed men, freshly plucked (depending on the season) 
50 gms/ 2 tsp, diet food, (more, in case you like your disaster extra spicy) 
a pinch of workout, for taste 


1) For the marinate, mix half of vacation plans in anxiety and stress paste.
2) Reluctantly, go face the demons. Add one Leftist University in a mix of marinate paste. Keep it closed for a fortnight. This needs time since it takes a while for anxiety and stress to activate once inside the university.
3) For the curry, dry roast 4-5 miffed men on high heat. Keep stirring until they turn brown on the edges.
4) Add demanding bosses and annoying clients to the browned miffed men. Keep stirring slowly, while trying not to break anything in the pan. This step is tricky since all the components require attention to detail.
5) When the demanding bosses begin backing off after the clients are satisfied with the work, you sieve them in a separate bowl. Throw the browned miffed men. Their flavour is now mixed in your memory and the job, done.
6) Heat the pan and add half of writers block, workout, and diet food. Give it a good mix.
7) To this mixture, add your marinated Leftist university with stress and anxiety, the crippling depression, and the browned clients and bosses. Stir it clockwise, slowly. Say "Yeh Bik Gayi Hai Gormint" thrice. Repeat.
8) Toss in some additional diet food, if you like your meal spicy. Add the remaining writers block and reduce the heat. Cover the pan and slow cook this for about a fortnight again.
9) Open the lid and add the remaining semblance of vacation plans. Turn the gas off.
10) Garnish with the shavings of marketing and events, your recipe for disaster is good to go.

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