Nightmare before New Years

Monday, December 30, 2013

It's been a while since I've been having this recurring nightmare. Puts me in a situation where I'm conscious to realize I'm slacking classes, accountancy tuitions, to be precise; while I'm pursuing bass playing. I'm bunking all possible classes that my mother has enrolled me in post school, which includes baking, golf lessons, driving and of course accountancy. None of the listed classes will affect me in the near future as much as accountancy does. 

I sit for an exam, fail it invariably. My balance sheet doesn't tally. I look around, Gee-Gee's struggling to win the fight between her stationery and doing calculation. I look infront, everyone who I ever disliked at school is writing their exam. With the vision being grey tinted, I look at my answer sheet. I haven't studied a word, not even the part on debentures, a question for eight marks. I pressurize my brain to think, think hard. What was the rule that my teacher asked us to remember while dealing with this type of illustration, I am aware this is off T.S. Grewal, it is supposed to be easy. I struggle to look around; get fidgety, drink water. Realization kicks in, it's too cold outside. This is when I want to pee. I excuse myself, walk out of the classroom to slap air bass. A technique, I feel I could never master. My teacher asked me to keep slapping my thumb on any object while I sat around, an exercise, I continue to do till date. The last time he saw me at for a class, he said I'd mastered the art but my bass wasn't attuned to playing that way so i needed to invest in a new bass. I think of this flashback and curse myself for not investing in either bass or accountancy. I return to the room, twist my pen only to keep it back. I stare at the question paper. Half Yearly Examination. I flip out. Six months until boards, bass playing alone won't take me anywhere. 

I get home, throw my bass away. Call my tuition teacher to find out that the syllabus has been covered twice at the centre. "It's only September third week!", I cry to the receptionist, who doubles as the admin as well as the substitute teacher in absence of the tuition teacher- Naini. Naini Kakkar- the woman who is single handedly responsible for my nightmares, five years after I cleared, rather aced my boards. 

Nightmare continues every morning. A little part of me fights in my dreams to justify that pursuing bass seriously may have changed the course of my life. There is no better time to pursue indie music than now. Follow your dream crap is significantly true, if you're me. Not that making shit video projects on 2 lakh worth of Macbook is a bad deal, but I wouldn't mind changing my comfortable life a bit and shaking the regularity of my attendance at accountancy remedial classes. 

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