Pao, Mao and Rainbow

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Let's see what do we have here. Another four days of sleeping in till noon before college kicks in and reality shrills in my mind- work like a jackass for no return, really. I haven't written in a while. Also because there is nothing to to pour out of my head. I've spent about a month and a half sleeping through Delhi winters in Delhi. No Dubai, no Malaysia, no Macbook, no nude heels or red pants and definitely no life.

It's a peculiar kind of feeling, much like wisdom tooth that you incur at some stage- sooner or later which essentially spells out that those goals you thought of achieving at the age of eight are all a big fat lie fed to your mind for distraction by the conditioning and the state of affairs around you. If you've been under the belief (much like me) that you'll have a major breakthrough in your life when you start masters or that the idea of writing and playing bass can work together like cheese and bread, you might just be proven wrong yet again, only to crash back on a bed of disappointments. The same bed that holds unfinished language courses, badly learnt instruments, career that didn't take off, problems that come minus any relationship tag and well ofcourse mother of all evils, being broke.

I'm sick of turning down events and avoiding people. Here's a real low down why, I've spent more than I could afford on books, enough to last me next two years. To top that, every once in a while, I let myself scroll flipkart/homeshop18 where I further blow remaining pocket money. If that isn't enough, I schedule atleast one shopping trip (which turns into guilt ridden with heavy bags full of blazers and shoes) with Tea Sharma. At the end of the fucking month, I've no money to buy myself a plate of lunch platter from college canteen. I have no idea how or why this is escalating into a major problem but I guess it is. Funny how I am actually being a cash-strapped adult already, without any student loan and shit.

This stuff was written sometime back and was in archives. Shapeless emotions that went on to become an odd shapeless piece.

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