God Hates Us All

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Sometimes, things don't go after all,
from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel
faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,
sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people will sometimes step back from war;
elect an honest man; decide they care
enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.
Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best efforts do not go
amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you.

~ Sheenagh Pugh 

eM's email to me and G, after our dessert date. There are very few things in the world that make me smile at amazement. One of them is eM's ability to gather my thoughts in the way only a mother can, in all precisement

Result's not etched in, yet. Even after getting enrolled at another University today, it seemed like I'm leaving a part of me behind at college. Naturally, I was compelled to run to alma mater after admission where I met the head of the department like a newly wed bride sees her mother, first time after getting deflowered. I'm sorry for the rather ridiculous way of putting this but I'm overwhelmed by all this. I don't think I deserved a 75.5. Heck, I didn't deserve anything over a 63 maximum. There are a whole bunch of people who did not, in all probability get inflated result as our batch and well, it's just unfair as a whole. Even within our batch, I know Sinner deserved way more, so did slutbag and well there are a few, who did not. I'm one of them and frankly, I've no right to own this score. And, why? I don't understand politics much. Either way, being the President of the department made me way more cynical about life and I could barely focus on my academics. It was a challenging experience but and I'd not swap it for anything but thinking of focussing on merely academics last year would've made me slightly less guilty of performing this way in exams. Call it a the nerd-dilemma or whatever you may. I just know a few people (Sinner, clumsy eater friend etcetra)  who deserved way more than what they got and this whole education system ruined it for them. 

One must snatch away my phone from me when I am pissed drunk. Awkwardness doesn't end here. It extends to the gorgeous reception at the college where the class burst into applause (current third years) when I decided to enter an Aesthetics lecture shit faced. Ended up speaking crap that included, "Yes, came here to rub it on your face!", "You can do it!". Okay fuck, the more I think about the, makes me go red in my cheeks. Not the looking at the crush kind. The kind where you wish you could kill yourself and never come back.

Crush is another story here. Remember the Italian gorgeous ass guy (heck, even I didn't remember he was a proud owner of a gorgeous ass)? Well, he congratulated me (providence brought us together. I'm hungover). I've been silently gloating over the fact but would've celebrated the same if it would have happened some three years ago. Also, if you do bother to read the entire post, forgive me for saying I'm not a sucker for beer. I've a beer belly and free beer's always welcome. Even when I've to meet someone's parents. 

Had quite the day yesterday. Before getting drunk, ie. Attended a lecture on metaphysics at clusmy eater friend's (CEF) college. The Professor repeated, "..metaphysics is supernatural..". CEF asked 
one, and well, it was rather funny, the explanation granted by the dude.
The Professor reminded me of this, I just thought he's going to break into this 
routine any second but too bad. The class ended before he could do that. 
For the rest of the time, hung out with a mixed bunch of friends. 
Gloomy as I was until grandfather broke the news to me. 

What follows is a familiar getting wasted, passing out and realizing the hangover
the next morning. And, more such that I currently can't process since I'm
 running high temprature and my brain refuses to comprehend the nature of 
this post.

However, what I do know is, I want to see the movie curled up in bed. Would
 anyone like to join?  

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