I've spent a long time this year playing these two games- Werewolf and Conspiracy. They've anchored me to a new reality, one that involves me playing people strategically against each other. It's a humbling realisation to know I'm not good at either game or setting people against one another, that shows in games played vs games won statistics. 

There's so much of human psychology that I've seen in Werewolf, you assume a personality given to you and then you carry out the role. 'Princess', 'King', 'Knight', 'Lovers' and 'Hunter' come as sacrifices. Once in a blue moon, the 'Lovers' will play to their strength and identify a 'Shapeshifter' pretending to be one of the lovers and the 'Hunter' will perhaps be strong and take a werewolf down upon its demise when killed at night. However, these characters come to die. 

What's funny is that these characters also make for stupid deaths. Nobody cares if the 'Princess' dies, on the 'King's' death, the team loses its ability to utilise their respective power but nobody cares. It's almost as if people are grateful for these two characters to go. 

Then you have important roles, including 'Necromancer' who brings dead cards back, 'Mystic' who can reveal a card in the night (so if there's a werewolf claiming your role, you have a chance if 'Mystic' exists and will help uncover the mask), there's 'Seer', notably the most important role who can inform the team to make the decision on whether you're evil and should be voted out or you're good (and thus should help the team). There's 'Doctor', who can save a player from being 'killed' in the night but then the 'Doctor' can be selfish and save itself instead of someone else. 

Almost each time I've played a session, longer than an hour, I've felt so deeply connected to my living reality here- people will trust assholes all the time and boot good people out because assholes have a way of manipulating others. The lies are blatant, someone else could claim my role as 'Seer' or 'Doctor' or 'Necromancer' and by the virtue of being 'two claims' for 'one role', one of us is booted out by the team, thus, reducing good team's capacity. 

What's common each time is how the manipulators get to me. I am a woman in my 30s who grew up with the internet. Of course I know the internet gaming space isn't kind or courteous, but what stuns me is the ability that people carry to influence others in believing their lies. The game is typically played with strangers and you don't understand their true nature or sides until you repeat a few games with them. Very rarely do you find a team of 'smart' villagers who can see through the lies but instead you're regularly served well plated lies with evil intentions. 

Each time someone outplays me in that game, which happens regularly, I'm somehow reminded of how many men have manipulated me into making me doing things I didn't want to do. The game reminds me of the façade people put at work and change versions at will. The game reminds me of unsolicited advice people offer in the light of their perception and limited observations that they confuse with the truth. 

I may lose at Werewolf, but i'm almost always right on who's evil.