I had my first therapy session. 

If I must make a first date parallel, I can't wait to see my therapist again! I've felt lighter, been introspective and yet there's so much to learn and unpack. 

What if all dates are basically therapy with a booty call? 

Anyhow, at the end of the session, my therapist thanked me for being clear with my thoughts and articulate and said it didn't feel like she's known me for 50 minutes. 

I think at some level, the credit goes to this blog, simply because I've been writing snippets and concise points of my life in nugget sized servings. It's incredible what simple journalling can do, besides help you get some (because my experience has taught me, writers are generally good in bed). 

A bunch of people reached out to ask me how it went and between curt and detailed responses, it's an immersive experience. You would much rather talk about your first sexual encounter to your parents than discuss this with anyone, that's how intimate therapy is. 

The other thing is, what do you unpack. I talked largely about the immediate pressing concerns wrt my professional life. I was avoiding the personal aspect largely because I don't think anyone in my life was worth talking about. Sure, there have been the crucial things and episodes which had been bothering me that led to this step, so there was some hesitation when I was asked to talk about my personal life and the people who constitute. 

That was something for me, a revelation if you may. I have believed my friends mean the world and yet here we were unpacking my life and I found nothing; not even miniature-sized bottle.

What I did talk about was the blog. My other hobbies. I think that made me jump off my seat, especially my therapist's interest in those.  

"Ah, um, see, I write. I've been trained in it now, yeah, like five years ago I thought I was the best writer I knew at my age and then I went to the grad school where I was tore down and I had to unlearn everything I knew about writing. I convinced myself I couldn't write and gave up. However, what that did was to teach me where I was going wrong and the nuances of it all, of content and form. Half a decade later, I feel it's something that I now know somewhat if not all and it's the one single talent I possess. I am also using this as my sounding board to see if I can do this anymore or not."

(Title reference; track of the day.)