Name a more moronic move, I'll wait

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Take a shot for each time you wonder, what's my fucking point.

In the list of things that have returned to complete normalcy- people who stopped exchanging, 'Happy new year' greetings in emails are my absolute favourite (nothing can beat 'I hope this mail finds you well' level of optimism). That surpassed the already dead celebrities in 2017 and Kim K's long-awaited return to social media outlets. Time for a shot.

There's a new ice cream joint that opened up in my neighbourhood. I visited the place on the last day of my home stay during chickenpox and got myself two scoops of guava chili ice cream. While a part of me was completely invested in finishing that thing off, the other part was trying to cover my face entirely with the hoodie I was wearing. It's a crime to have your work place near your residence. There's no sense of privacy when you take a leave because you're consistently worried that you'll bump into someone. That's as real a problem as Kim K's brush with the intrusion of privacy. You want to be seen, yet be un-seen somehow. I've joined the club. The perils include not being able to 'gram moments which you'd not like the world to know, yet want over 52486 likes on that post. Shot please.

You know this utterly bizarre thing I read on the internet in October. It was this Discovery post on Snapchat which had Kim K dressed as virgin Mary. The post was about her trying to reinvent her look to be at peace with the events that went down in Paris. If you've been living under a rock, her rock (the size of a virgin island in Australia) on her engagement ring was stolen, as were all other jewels which reportedly cost the Kardashian-West team millions of dollars. I can't care less about the amount because let's be real, I'm not seeing anything like that in my life. Why bother. I digress. Coming back, Kim's set the stage up for Shri Arvind Gupta of the BJP IT cell. An hour ago, I got a chain mail forwarded by a bunch of juniors about a protest which is brewing at my alma mater. The man whose operations and campaign was one of the major causes of all the upheaval at the alma mater last year, and the army of trolls which is reportedly being commissioned and paid by the same IT cell has been cordially invited by the current VC. Shri Gupta is supposed to give a talk on the concerns of digital literacy. That's pretty much the Indian equivalent of the news item of Kim K's attempt at dressing conservatively, despite her being one of the top porn star search on Porn Hub for 2016. A girl's gotta try, and a VC has gotta ensure that the university goes down the fucking dumps. Drink up.

Speaking of VC and privacy, what will it take for the right wing's internet cell to stop sending me invite mails to attend their event. Digital economics. Digital literacy. Digital poop. Digital PPAP. Digital vomit. No, seriously. Is there any end to this? Digital end? In the latest episode of KUWTK, Kim K's recreating a footage of how she was robbed at gun point in Paris. I wish someone could commission the university students who've signed up for NSS to prepare a recreated footage of events of what happens when a decision impacts the lives of millions of marginalized individuals in a country. Instead, the students who have mandatory 180 or some such hours to complete under National Service Scheme have been asked to promote digital crap. Go out in the market space, teach vendors to use UPI and BHIM and register them by using their identification proofs. Because social work is all about embracing propaganda. Dharma Production should buy this idea right now.

Ministry of Human Resource and Development in the country reminds me a lot of Kris Jenner/Kardashian. While continuing to be the matriarch of some very difficult entities, Kris J/K does some hilarious things. When you watch her do those things, you actually wonder how's she even allowed to be the mom, let alone the manager to these women who take each and every step so calculatively. This is not to say that MHRD Kris J/K does not think before she acts, but just that each of thing they make her do, is more ridiculous than the last. Kris, in the pilot episode, decides to get a pole in her bedroom to spice up her marriage with Caitlyn, nee Bruce Jenner. You wonder, why go out of the way to do something which has no purpose. It's a fact universally acknowledged that Kris was aware of Bruce's sexuality prior to him coming out as Caitlyn. Yet, the viewers were made to buy the nonsense of them pepping their married life with all sorts of nonsense thrown across the first couple of seasons. Thank the lord this isn't an academic paper, else I'd have been graded an easy C for my lack of giving fucks to maintain proper citation. Anyhow, coming back to how MHRD surpasses Kris J/K. For you to know that, dear troll, you need to watch first seven seasons of KUWTK.

(Refresher video in case you do follow the KarJenners)
Because, the MHRD in the country outdoes most of things that Kris J/K does on KUWTK. So, when they say that they will actually allocate points to institutes based on volunteering work to promote digital poop, they're really being Kris J/K. Selling complete crap to the viewer and making them believe it's for their best.

While you would think, Kris J/K is insignificant in a larger scheme of business empires being contructed on their respective popularities, KJK brought the TV show KUWTK and made it for what it is. Ofcourse, who cares if she destroys the popular opinion about herself in the process. Nobody cares for the brain, as long as your boob job doesn't go bad. amirite? (shot shot shot)

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