Publicist Solicited

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

"I really think it's a make or break for me the way a guy dresses. I've literally called things off once cause a guy showed up in a green t-shirt."

"What's wrong with a green t-shirt?"

"Nothing's wrong with a green t-shirt and he actually showed up in a nice jacket but then he took it off and there was that eyesore of the t-shirt. It's very hard for me to take anyone seriously in a t-shirt like that. I also can't deal with a badly dressed man. I get your aesthetic and over time if we become friends or whatever I learn to deal with it. But the worst kind of problem is when you like a person's aesthetic and they show up in a terrible outfit. I think it's the easiest way to get over someone. Like this."

"Who is this green t-shirt person?"

"You know, that one."

"I don't know this one."

"Everyone in English speaking world knows of him and this outfit fail. For fuck sake, SSD was there with me and he saw it in person. I'm sure Pantone has the colour of his t-shirt under 'The worst green' and the t-shirt had Taj Mahal. No wait, it didn't have Taj Mahal as it is. It was a face with glasses and you could see the Taj Mahal in it.""

"No man, you didn't tell me."

"He is the same person who sent food for my entire office when we were all working late and everyone around me was head over heels for him except me."

"No idea."

"You know the one who was really nice to me and I was a complete asshole."

"You know you are an assh..."

"Before you say it, can you just say it, 'you're an asshole to every guy who likes you' and please get it out of your system?"

"You're an asshole to every guy who likes you."


This is as close to a public apology I'm going to get to for our friend in the green t-shirt. I'm sorry for me not reciprocating to your bad memes, advances and efforts. You're a nice guy but only the Dude gets to dress bad and get away with it.

In the meantime, if you hear of a publicist who is willing to take up the role to improve my public profile on how I'm an asshole to one and all (been getting a lot these days), hit me up.

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