From the locker, of the things which shouldn't have been said out loud.

xx

"You know what's truly remarkable about Johar's brand of cinema? The façade of Buckingham Palace opens and leads to Chandni Chowk."

"Oh, that pristine version of Chandni Chowk which resembles Samode in Rajasthan? That's what you call great writing. You will be forced to believe it's happening, as opposed to Gosling-Stone flying in an observatory. In your head, you know, that stunning palace is where Shahrukh lives and regardless of who the person is (in this case Gosling), humans don't fly inside an observatory."

xx

"Irom Sharmila has a boyfriend. I mean he convinced her to quit her fast of 16 years. You know, you and I should go on a fast."

"Yeah, no one will come and save us. Both you and I know that."

"That's true. Yeah."

xx

"I am such a big contradiction man. Like, chest down, I'm a Russian milf. Chest up, I'm a 5 times failed in Kindergarten face."

"You know, braces are temporary but the boobs, they are permanent!"

xx

"Still haven't seen la la land, though from what I have read about it and what I know of whiplash, it occurs to me that chazelle misses the point. There are two distinct but related ways in which this is done. For one, the standards that borrow from western classical don't claim to be about western classical music. Chazelle's stuff would suggest that through these sorts of standards, there is at least one person in the arrangement consciously going down a classical route while the rest play around him or her, which is not the case. Second, theory, when it is done well, emerges in the detail. The mode of analysis, in such cases, comflates with the method espoused such that the object of analysis is elicited in that light and evolves, becomes in that vein. In this sense, to play jazz is to be a certain way, as against sycophancy rendered cinematic and artful."


"You should watch it. Jazz is sprinkled just as how one puts a leaf of basil on a plateful of pasta."

xx

"That was one moment when he (narrator's SO) and I looked at each other; without saying a word we knew, we knew your date was gay."

xx

(Prospective restaurateurs during their recce of the space, my colleague and I showing them that space.)

"You know she (points at me) kept asking me to tell you (the restaurateur/chef) to bring your Keema Pao when you come down to see the place. I kept telling her it's unprofessional."

xx

"I was so pissed at her for calling my boyfriend to the couple's dinner. How could she."

"She's trying to bond with him. What's wrong in that?"

"He's so embarrassing. He says shit like, "Trump is good for India". I can't be seen with him."

"Is the sex that good?"

"Um...it's okay. It's good."

"Then?"

"I can't be hanging with my boyfriend. He's so right wing *rolls eyes*."

xx

"You can't go back to her. She's been really mean to you."

"I will have to wait and see."

"You've planned your wedding with her, haven't you?"

"Listen, I've become better. By now I would have planned my two kids' names as well. I haven't done that. It's not my fault if think in advance for things. The world needs to catch up with me. I'm a romantic, yaar. You know me. I have only thought about the wedding...will you come to our wedding in the hills?"

"She just messaged you once. Can you please calm down?"

xx

"You know, this one time she sent a mail to the entire office of *insert a media house* and all of us copied. The content of the mail was 'Payment?'. It wasn't addressed to anyone, and nobody knew whether she was asking for payment or accusing someone of stealing it from within the organization.  It was so vague. If she can survive this, so can you."

xx

"Do you always have cupcakes on you on bad days or what?"

xx