Things which are never happening for me (or I'd like me some good ole' shaking of the Universe to surprise me) until the crows turn white or unicorns replace DMRC.

Far more realistic than the items on this list

1) Being in a healthy, happy relationship (dating) with a straight, single man who likes typography and can bring witty banter to the table with some gourmet junk food on a date night (butcher's shop story, anyone?)

Pizza alone is the perfect match on Tinder

2) Driving a damn car

Auto, always

3) Losing Weight

You know you're fat when your mother cracks 'Yo Daughter so fat' jokes on you

4) Scholarship

Slash NET Slash Job Slash New York Slash LA Slash Roppongi

5) Sex with Adam Levine

The only time when my homefries and I share a choice

6) Doctorate

This image does not reflect the chances of scholarship and proposal being approved which leads us to the next image

Ryan Father of one child Gosling as a reward. Bitches can dream.

7) Finishing deadlines for this semester

Spatial and temporal realities are damned this semester

8) Julie Hewett's Sin Noir and Nars' Seduction Empress

Every make-up store in Dubai, Bangkok and Paris, ever

9) Cheaper, affordable technology

How do you explain the Apple family?

10) A gig that allows me to look smashing and play some on the side

Now, is Prince Harry willing to be my groupie?