Hustling and deal-making

Monday, March 31, 2014

Filmmaking teaches you a thing or two about hustling and deal-making, piped eM on twitter at the onset of my graduation thesis project. Year and a half ago, when I decided to join Mass Communication Research Centre, I had no clue that this would lead to things that would train for me to bear the scars on my body as well as my mind. Dolly grip operator, would be the job I'd probably get if I were to set my foot in the 'industry'. Unfortunately, this time I won't give in to ignorance and feed myself with every little experience that would come my way.

When you're young, you believe the possibilities are endless. The failure of not being able to execute or implement what you've imbibed as the child is the first step towards growing up. I'd say it kicked in pretty late for me. It's only in the last two years or so that I realized principles are meant to be known and a clear disregard for everything you've grown up believing to be the word of Bible is the way of the world. On a side note, my course should give out the provision to capture the 'making of' such moments as a mandatory assignment. That would be the thing I'd be working on, as opposed to this piece here.

Hustling and deal-making to me are terms best used when I were to represent the team I am fortunate to work with and share this professional opportunity and space with, at the time of pre-production work. Dealing with the cops, municipal authorities in the city and getting people to buy our 'dream' of putting down a simple story of a boy's wishful thinking that involves no harm intended or be caused to anyone dead or alive, was the goal we began with. So when, this extended to resulting on invading my physical space and being assaulted by a team member, I was traumatized. The physical blow was not as damaging as that which blew my trust and the ability to reason any longer. Apparently, it takes two to tango and standing up to defend what you believe in, against someone you've known long enough isn't a reason enough to protest.

I admit to having a temper that flares in seconds and not being able to limit myself to those who will stay with it. I will also admit that being an acquaintance of mine, you'd probably have to put your best foot forward and hope I don't show you my side which involves no mollycuddling and nonsense. At best, it will consist of cussing uninhibitedly. At this moment, any kind of advice coming from all and sundry about leaving the matter and not overreacting to the same is all I have. Perhaps, they are right. I am at the wrong end for standing up to a man who after being repeatedly told to not make jokes about race and cast continued to do so and I deserved to be shoved to the ground and hit. Maybe, his self defence amounts to more honesty than mine and his apology accepted on my behalf, without consulting me or have my consent. Perhaps, being told to seek professional help for temper management and controlling anger is the final resort. It works out like a sorry end to a film that is based out of a mental asylum. You end up becoming the inmate for the wrong doings of others because your stamina does not allow you to counter attack, a part of your deal-making makes you sit back and not sabotage the work and effort it has taken for you to get this far and that every time you believe it's unfair what has happened, you're perhaps at the wrong end.

If you are a strong willed woman/man who stands by their principles, filmmaking isn't for you. 

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