New Girl

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Co-ed College taught me:

1) Most men are ugly.
2) Most women are stupid.
3) I'm a misanthrope.
4) Men who are not ugly are effeminate. 
5) Men who are neither ugly or effeminate are stupid.
6) Men who are neither of the three have girlfriend(s).
7) Women have shrill voices.
8) I can't make new friends.
9) Clowns are loved by everyone. I don't do a good clown act.
10) Awkward conversations are awkward. (Hi, um. Um.Why don't you come and sit with us? Um, it's okay. I'm good. Um, okay)

Dear new classmates,

If you're reading this, um. Look! Fred Flintstones!


Ps- There's a Sheldon lookalike in my class. The resemblance creeps me out but it's worth staring at, seriously.  

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