Officially old enough and idgaf. I hate most of you, anyway. Hate is weak. I loathe, despise a lot of you. I don't need affirmations in the form of cheap presents, especially when you're spending money to get that (good shit is costly, mediocre shit is also costly, the worst— cheap shit is also costly).

Here's a list of things I most definitely don't want—

Cakes. From any outlet. If you know anyone buying me a cake, stop them and put an end to that crap. I am not going to eat mass-produced, store-bought cake to ring my 30th in. I'm a motherfucking nut when it comes to cakes and if you can, find out the only cakes I like and bring it over personally. Lol, jk, don't come. I don't want to see anyone, most definitely not my friends. You all suck balls. 

Local baker's handmade chocolate. Just fucking no. For that matter, any kind of chocolate is a no. 

Alcohol. I had my last drink in March and while it's a bit much to say I've quit drinking with a bachelorette right around the weekend, I am trying my (Kanye) best to lay off. I don't like the hangover and I definitely don't have the company to enjoy alcohol. 

Clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery, of any kind. I buy my own shit and I'm too old to pretend I like what you'll get me. What's terrifying is that I know a circle who's already bought stuff so I'm gonna have to put on a poker face and pretend I am absolutely blown over, thank youuuuuu! Not. 

Smol business stuff. I don't want any. Half of them are dimwitted fools and it's a pain to interact and imagine doing all that to get something I don't like. Pathetic. 

Speaking of stuff, absolutely don't want any "gift" item like a photo frame, mugs, plushies, nothing. Not at all. Please respect my aesthetic. 

Gift coupons. I won't redeem, you'll be throwing your money. I don't want to shop from random fuckall places online. Yes, Amazon is a random fuckall place as are all others.

Electronics. Absolutely fucking not. I do recce for months before I get a fucking USB cable. Don't peddle me anything from that category. 

Food and drinks. I'm on OMAD (one meal a day) and while the general belief that is I'm coping with bad depression and nursing an eating disorder, I am in no mood to eat take out Chinese or whatever else. I do that a lot and that's practically how I've kept myself balancing between sanity and coping with traumas of shapes and kinds.

Social media declaration. Absolutely no fucking videos, no bingos, no photographs. Nothing. Forget and move on. Chances are, you will trigger me if you do any.

Books. Unless you have access to my reading wishlist, don't you dare get me a fucking book. 

If you think I'm being rude/insensitive/pathetic, chances are we haven't had a heart to heart in a while and I'd rather we continue the same. For the love of the lord, don't shove the link of this in my face and ask me questions. It's literally awkward to say, "haha you know I did it for writing". No motherfucker, this is where I'm most honest and chances are, you shouldn't even bother being here cause it's such a personal fucking space and if you were personal, maybe you would not have to read anything here.