As a part of my resolution which includes productive writing more than feeling, I intend to spruce this space up with things. Starting with the one that I know the best (also universally applicable) - heartbreak.
A broken heart is a work of art. It is performative, in ways you repeat the story over and over again. You narrate this over an 11 pm phone call to that friend's friend who doesn't know your second name but he knows you had a pregnancy scare with the guy who's now responsible for smashing your heart in smithereens. Heartbreaks render an affective turn, the kind that makes you gaze inwards and change your line of thought- towards heteronormative relationships. The kind that makes you realize, if only sexual orientation could be a choice one could simply make. The same kind of choice as one makes with a crisp toast- do I want salted butter or mixed fruit jam or both to go with this toast? A wailing heart finds joys in multiple cups of strong cappuccino knowing very well that it's going to cause digestive problems in the next few hours but holding that cup warms the cockles of their hand and heart, the kind which was only possible with absolutely nothing a night before the showdown with the supposed affection of their life.
There are no right words that could be said to help someone get past the pain of losing another individual, who to the misfortune of the owner of the broken heart, is very much alive and kicking and prancing around us. Unless one takes the bold move on social media to block them, they continue to haunt us, ghost us and terrify us with their presence. In the recent past, I've come to realize that most people who are sinking innit and trying to swim and save their lives have absolutely no support. Mostly because there's rarely someone who knows what to say to make one feel better.
I'm inviting entries and curating a post full of anonymous stories, with the aim for us all to find some sense of catharsis. One from you, about you; to finding that closure or helping someone find one. God alone knows how many of us keep these feels bottled and find ourselves engaging with banalities to pass this grief.
I know, I write my grief out. I hammer the words down until I feel nothing. For all my self-destruction, I know how to rise like a phoenix from the as(s)holes.
Here's what I'm looking for-
1) Prose, haiku, rap, on your worst/funniest/most terrible/truly terrifying heartbreak tale you've lived to tell.
2) Prose could be anywhere between 350-500 words. Haiku and rap just about enough to make sure people are not leaving the post to go window shop on amazon.in
3) Keep it simple. While I love me the details of what brand of alcohol bottle did you take swigs of whiskey out from before he hit on your friend, I would encourage you to dig deeper and see if you would like to share how you felt when you saw it happen. The more you're in touch with what you feel, the closer you would feel to a cathartic experience.
4) Have fun writing it. If this is the worst that's ever happened to you, or will ever do, know that it's over and there's nothing you can do to prevent it. Unless you have a self-destructive gene like me, in which case, good luck and godspeed. Breaking the heart is so 2005. Bacon your heart and make it delectable for others to stop and take a bite.
Here's how you can help-
1) Write. For me, to know I'm not alone. For yourself, to know this will make you stronger. For others, to show that we have all been there.
2) Share this post. Someone somewhere is experiencing gut-wrenching pain about someone who doesn't give two hoots about them. Fuck them. Instead, focus on those who truly hurt themselves in process of getting attached when they shouldn't have, for whatever reason there may be.
3) Be fabulous. Don't let anyone tell you about your eyebrows being too thin or your hands being too big. You know what they say about people with big hands? I don't know, but if you do, keep it to yourself.
Submit your entries and encourage your local Spiderperson to share their entry on snobrellaATgmailDOTcom. Last date for submission is 20 January, 2019.
