That limbo named school

Monday, April 02, 2012

I don't quite want to do this when I am less than 12 hours away from an assignment, that'll be possibly my last one for the college (hallelujah). Familiar trajectory but ofcourse I'm compelled to write just before I could bring myself to study for the godforsaken assignment.

Can't help myself for most of it is about premises where I spent 14 years (not my jail term but very close). The convent school reunion experience. Or should I say, once a dumbfuck, always a dumbfuck.

Things that didn't change about school includes everything. The old peon has grown so old that he's lost his front teeth. The Principal still makes out with Mic while addressing the students. There is no water in water cooler. The teachers are still dumb enough to not catch sarcasm (more on that). As always, dumb former classmates have no dressing sense (crocodile green vintage dress and wedges, I looked good. I'm a narcissist. As opposed to a shiny emerald blue gown/dress with horrible black suede ballerinas. Really now?). Okay, coming back from Vogue to the school, there were these old, overgrown ladies all making a hoohaa of the fact they're meeting after ages and seemed rather emotional about it. I get it, you'd be emotional if you didn't have classmates like mine.

This one, I can't take her out of my head. She's caused irreversible damage to my memory with what she told me in first grade. I don't forgive and forget. This is the emerald blue outfit female. In first standard, during school fete, she told me about her 'pizza experience'. I witnessed a similar 'noodles experience' with my sibling. The day my sibling was exposed to 'noodles' for the first time she behaved as if it's some exotic caviar and went nuts eating it. There are snaps of us, baby sibling looking at noodles and not so baby me eating them. She looks cute, with the round, chalk white face, admiring noodles. Me? I'm sitting cross-legged, uninterested in posing and eating. This was the pictorial experience. Now, miss emerald blue chick recited how she demanded pizza for the first time in Vaishno Devi and no one in her family had heard of it. Judge me, but even as a 5-6 year old I found it funny. So her father, not knowing what pizza is, went in search of pizza at Vaishno Devi and got one for her and she loved it. Needless to say, that was the last time I hung out with her. Until, ofcourse, we were stuck at a school trip once, I have memories of her dancing in a moving bus. She confessed to my best friend during breakfast at a pit stop that she can't resist dancing each time she hears music. I found that extremely hilarious. Best friend couldn't get over the fact that how could someone dance in a moving bus. Each time, I see a bus full of children, I'm reminded of nasty me and best friend and somehow I manage to resist sharing this with the person next to me.

Judge me as much as you want but there's this category of people. The ones who go on a yearly pilgrimage, talk about eating at Sagar and marry their kids by the time their 18 and make weekly visits to temple. This emerald chick belongs to one such family. Watching her dance on Kolaveri Di, yesterday, I was reminded of how once someone told me that her sister's wedding has been called off. She said as though it's a bad thing. I didn't have appropriate reaction so I chose to remain quite. Later, I was told that they plan to marry this emerald chick in two years time. The thing to know is, I saw her sister as well. She's unmarried. Good for her, I guess. She'd be, otherwise, married into a jewellers family and be preparing for another trip to Haridwar at some point for her honeymoon. Or is it Mussorie for these people?

Another surprising thing that came out yesterday was how people, well, get comfortable with their respective partners. For me to be single for the number of years I've come into existence isn't as disturbing as finding out all my friends (from school, well) go to secluded, shady theatres to make out. So while, one of them made out with 'smooched' her boyfriend during Mere Brother Ki Dulhan, other utilised her office premises. Third used her car and service lane in the neighbourhood. Call me a noob, but I know about the dearth of public space to get cosy with your partner, here in Delhi. But, for some reason, indulging in PDA at West Delhi Cinema Halls is as unacceptable as it gets. I mean, why? Also, how different are you from people who we poke fun at, smooching at Lodhi Garden or some other secluded by everyone other than couples place in Delhi?

Which brings me to next point, why the fuck do we need approval? Approval for smooching in public place. Approval for calling smooch a smooch and 'kiss on the lips' (I kid you not, this one person corrected me yesterday, हमने और कुछ नहीं किया। लिप्स पे किस किया है, बस ।). My issue begins with when you start to show around you partner's picture for approval and telling them where all you've smooched him. First thing, even if you're reciting, don't expect affirmation or a line like, 'that's so thoughtful.'

 Fucking asshole, I've not spoken to her in three years, today I meet you at the reunion and  you look at my partner's picture and judge him? Really? If I begin doing that, I know who will cry at the end. And, this even includes me. I judge a lot of people except I don't go out saying, 'What yaaa? Him? Please.' Really, fucker? Unless you're seeing Johnny Depp, you've no right to say anything to anyone. Also, even if you are, who has asked for your approval? You wanted to see a shot and here's exactly what I did. No one's called you for nitpicking.

Sadly, we live in a world where we're constantly on a lookout to please people and make them like us. This whole step about making them like *us* and our choices creates an imbalance of sanity around and throw us with lines at us like, 'तुझे तो सिर्फ अजीब किस्म के लोग पसंद आते है।'

Isn't that exactly, why I hang out with you? But no, I do so cause, I've no choice.

And when we are drawing close on people with low IQ, how can I forget this one etched in my memory that my friend was kind enough to remind me. This one time, in seventh grade (or sometime in high school), I forgot to bring my art file to school. Like mathematics, my art was another forte and unlike math, I could easily forget to carry that and happily stay out of class for block classes. I once got into an argument or some crap with the art teacher. Anyhow, cutting the long story short, she confronted me in class asking,

'Child, do you not have any CS?'.

'Um, er. No?', I said.

'Class, look at her. What a shameless girl! She just said she has no common sense.', she triumphantly gestured towards me.

Back then, I remember, this became butt of all jokes. CS or no CS, she disliked me and feeling was mutual. At the reunion, I sarcastically asked her, 'Do you still chuck students out for not bringing the file?'
She thought, paused and said earnestly, 'Actually, no. I've stopped doing that. Now, I make them paint in class and ask them to staple it in their drawing books. I realised that idea wasn't working out..' and she went on talking about new method for good 7 minutes until she was interrupted by a bunch of highly enthusiastic girls claiming how she changed their grammar and was the best teacher *ever*.

Punishment or not, I have come to conclusion my school life has been scarred with such rainbows that if I sat  and drew it in my art file, I'd mark myself as a candidate with no potential to move over the incidents that defined my school term. 

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  1. Hey! howz ya? :)
    I finished with my board exams a week ago. Relaxing at home. Total bliss...:D
    I read in one of your posts that you're graduating. Congrats! So, will you have a farewell like in school?
    I'm thinking of joining du for maths hons (provided I manage to clear the cutoff!!). I want to talk to someone who is doing maths/chem/phy/electronics hons from du to get an idea about the different courses. I know you must be really busy and all, but if you get some time off in the next two months, please see if you can help me! :)
    By the way, if i start telling you stories of the limbo-ness of my school and my classmates, you'll be like "bas karo, aur kitna rulaoge!!" by the time i reach to what happened to me in the swimming pool in class 4. :P

  2. Hey Jan,

    I could connect you via email to a friend or two pursuing the course(s) you're looking at but they're all enrolled in annual mode course so I don't know how useful will it be.
    Let me know, either ways. Also, drop in your email address here?
    Good luck with future endeavours and enjoy your long summer break.


  3. Hey thanks! But what does 'annual mode course' mean...distance education?

  4. Jan,

    Annual mode would mean end of the year exam and not distance education. Semester mode has been now implemented and is different than annual mode.

    Also, I'm afraid, people I spoke to have graduated from B.A.Math Hons. that has now been scrapped off and don't know anyone from Chemistry and Physics. Why don't you try talking to a few of your immediate school seniors, if they're in the same course.

  5. Hey snobs..
    I doubt if my seniors will be of any help. Actually, info about different courses is easily available on the net, but I wanted a first person account of things to see if the course is really my cup of tea. Hmm..I'll see what I can do. But thank you so much for trying!! :) (I hope it wasn't too much of a bother!)
    Keep posting frequently..I'm gonna read every one of 'em. :)


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