The Insomnia and what follows

Friday, October 21, 2011

This is going to be one of those highly inspired by someone's writing and your situation at 3 fucking am post. I'm wide awake, inspite of knowing that my ass will be royally fucked in the morning when I'll try to wake myself up for the 9:4o class. I don't know why do I bother to make it for all of this- classes, deadlines etc. I mean, I don't really give a fuck about after college scene and here I am struggling to make it through three things simultaneously other than urticaria. In no particular order of significance they include bass playing, dramatics society and philosophy. Now, I wasn't particularly looking forward to getting myself in knee deep shit and I didn't exactly calculate to see what can go wrong. Now, that shit is happening, in respect to the dramatics society, I feel that it's time I must give up on Everything.

I was at a level, say a fortnight back where even within confusion of buying bass/continuing in Delhi, I knew very clearly what and how things were proceeding. It seemed like a bad idea to have a perfectly, well balanced decent life that I signed up to be a part of production. Not complaining here but I have serious issues with the way these drama society people behave. Right from other college drama society members to ours. Each one of them is just the opposite of what these guys from music societies are. This can get naive but you can't make the difference unless you've done both. Funnily enough, one of the lead actors who is playing double role and also is a part of the music society with me, calls me "homie". Fuck you, if you say, "coincidence".

In a nutshell read something that got me standing on my toes. Almost like past revisited but maybe an year or two later. That seems like confusing shit and thus I must shut it right there. This post itself is one of those compositions that I'd write and tear. Maybe, I might take it off this place too.

Anyhow, play was staged at Stephens and apparently the image I had of the college has been shattered. Right from the behaviour of the people (which might I add is loud and crass) to the infrastructure (a dog walked to the sound box where I was sitting and started whining, no kidding). You might just swell in the pride of British Raj and all that jazz but for Christ sake, accumulate your manners and learn how to talk to anyone. Also, I don't say thing 'cause I belong to possibly most fancy college in South Delhi, but 'cause they are gloating for nothing.

Other than that, bass has taken a rather end for now. Fucking society is taking all my time, again I called for it, I know but it's more of time wastage. In all likelihood, tomorrow is my last show. Quitting right after it. Shame 'cause the internal competitions are over and I'll miss Bombay's show but I'm good with that because I'm honestly done with everything and everyone Dram Soc.

Another thing I may add is the marriage proposal I got at Stephens from a girl who spoke to me for 6 minutes. I don't know why that happened but it was pretty awkward. This classmate said that it's my sunsign that attracts people like this. My problem here is, why can't my sunsign attract normal/slightly better people (with dick)..if you know what to fill in here.

Which brings me to the gig I went to this evening. It was the same venue where I played and honestly, I'm sick of this going out partying-gigging business. Was pretty bored since everyone had someone to talk to and in general, very off sort of an evening. The only silver lining being this band that performed before our (the band I work with) went on stage. Those bastards were brimming with energy. It's funny how Sinner said, "if he's done that to the mike (masturbation) imagine what he'd do to you?" So yeah, if you have any idea who were're talking about just pass on the message that the vocalist is rather cute and that I was in love with the bass player till he played. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak something, a part of me died after jumping off the clip for he was so weird.

What I really don't need right now, would be constant reminders to something as painful and petty is your sister is doing better than you (with the boy front). Which is true. She is quite a charmer and this is coming out now, when I see her chilling with the rest of the 15 year olds. Also, maybe another person telling me what to do and how to do. People in college have started doing that and it annoys the crap out of me.

Maybe, it's 3 am cynicism and feeling weird. Maybe, I need a Dunhill. Maybe, I need a good fuck. Who am I kidding? I just need to calm the fuck down.

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