Oink Oink- Glutton loves mutton

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Dear X.

I don't feel like calling you "Diary" or "blog" or "net log" or whatever you can think of to make it personal. I am in a mood for some formal stuff. Like an official letter but very academic or for that matter old school but I won't follow in that mode for long. Maybe you'll see it reflecting while I rant or crib or appreciate something but not fully. Ain't this hypocrisy? Yeah ha but I've lost my sort of right from it because someone who has been an object of scrutiny for me, let's call it subject has claimed it to be his.

I've never been so curious about anyone since my 11 grade crush (the cute guy, who was quite a dud, never spoke a word to anyone in two years, not even when he was asked, quite a blonde in that respect) and subject has caught my attention after all the stories I heard about him (the subject, I would refer to it as "it" but that's just to make it cryptic and maybe add to effects, if there are any). The stories that have come about are just as interesting as subject itself but then you can't forge animation into the stories so I was not particularly kicked about meeting the subject in the first place but then there was no way I could escape it (maybe there was but then I certainly cannot go on to explain the only possible way).

Why, I chose to speak about the subject is because of a little thing that happened today. Now, S is a very mean and a bad individual, we may not deal with ethics over here but a bad individual is just who seems to enjoy while the other one is in pain, drudgery etc. I'm choosing it deliberately to not label S with the term "masochist" and the reason will come infront in some time. So coming back to the story, I was trying to hit the note of an annoying person who's usually in media for acting like a Utopian ruler and trying to censor godfucking every thing in the world. In short, I was role playing a fanatic and tried to change the course of a regular discussion to slightly fascist argument over something vain (if I may call it that). In all probability, I expected the genius subject to get the drift (did I mention, subject is extremely brilliant and possesses extraordinary ability to find criticism in everything including the concept of travelling to a certain place which is considered a Mecca for students from the University of Delhi) of my sarcasm and laugh it off. Except something else happened.

Subject's pupils contracted (puns intended) and it stopped to shout at me right in the middle of the argument saying, "Now you have to find issues with this too?". Oh boy. I'm in trouble.

The point that I try to raise here is, you can go on crack jokes on everyone, including a broken arm of a friend and call her "Mowgli" but others can't even talk under your nose, unless you're pleased you won't let them continue the conversation, the sole purpose of which is sarcasm. But let me come to my last point, being accepting hypocrisy.
I appreciate the fact, that Today you finally accepted that your behaviour is very hypocritical and that you just enjoy being like that. You ask us to slog our asses off but sincerely believe in less work going in from your side, or bare minimal where you can actually laugh and pass it off saying it's the other party's fault. I guess this is where I should hold my horse's and retract my claw (that's logically incorrect and doesn't even sound good but then I can be hypocritical if I want to be, isn't this the whole point?).

And, that's when Subject wins my respect. I may be a sucker for honesty but the fact is I do see some bit of myself in subject. A rather insensitive and cold part but the cynicism is just something that comes to me, like the subject, Aristotle and there are more but I'd like to dedicate posts to them separately and not on a public blog.

Now, I must return back to Baruch Spinoza, to whom I must dedicate this weekend or else I fail.


[This post is the result of a Saturday morning beginning with a Greek class and then extra chilly-rainy day that followed. However, the writer wanted to write an extra formal letter and could not find a suitable muse to address it and consequently mail hence she walked down to this medium. Writer will be going on a hiatus until next month due to internals and the fear of failing them which she sincerely believes she will if she continues watching Lost and having the extra sinful, delectable kebabs for lunch. This way she killed time and also wrote about an incident that left an impact on her. This is her alter ego typing on her behalf while she is contemplating whether she should read a magazine or her notes.]

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