Mat(h)er Within

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Woke up to a weird start, with my dog at the edge of the bed, trying to assemble his guts together to pounce on me. It was not him but his sniffing nose that almost got me screaming, nervous wreck- sweaty all over. I had dreamt about mathematics, specifically a hypothetical situation that I was forced to take up the subject in 11 grade and had been failing ever since.

Consequently, I realised that no way in hell I could pass it and clear my 12 boards and get into University for an under graduate course and so on. Anyhow, towards my pre boards I figured that there is no way but to drop out and live life without failing and I did that. Woof, good morning.

Rewind 36 hours.

I got a friend request from my mathematics teacher from school, who taught me in sixth and the ninth grade. Flunked in her class almost in every unit test. Haunting memories came by, those when some random geometry question was given and everyone would be scribbling to make it for correct figure as soon as possible and I'd be looking to duck down or trying to peep into homie's inter-leaved copy. Ninth grade math viva and the project we made, that I passed my finals because of practical marks in the total score and adding pride that I made it to board class. I share half my friend list with her and frankly speaking she was a very normal math teacher in comparison to those I got in seventh, eight and tenth and later my class teacher in eleventh and twelfth (same as my math teacher in eight). I could never understand why after endless effort I would not get my answer and end up failing exam after exam. Thankfully, I stood firm and kicked this in eleventh and made peace with Hindi. Lot of people talked behind back, "Who takes commerce without "maths"?", "There is no future for you".

I say, Fuck you.

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