Thursday, April 29, 2010

If I was to describe my life in one word, it's perfect chick-lit. That's the only thing perfect currently and how you may wonder. I have posed this question quite often (usually with some obnoxious amount of alcohol inside me) to vD. Now, vD is the only person who's stayed with me right from school to college. No, don't get me wrong, I mean to stay we've studied in the same school and pretty much got into same shit towards the end of school and made it to the college, the one where only four people from my school are currently (one of them passes out this year). Her reply to this query is simple. You add a cute guy in them chick-lits which attract the gays and single girls. The distress situations could vary from eccentric family, unruly pets, gangster siblings, bitchy/slut friends and dealing with all this leading to the kind of perfection, or nirvana of a kind. Yes, coming from a philosophy undergrad, I know it better.

The trouble however is, this state of nirvana is momentary. Much like it's corollary that they taught us (excuse me, for I have my own contradictions, which make me support more of Jainism in school rather than Buddhism). You sit back and you say to yourself,

"Good lord, it's not all that tough to run a house for 4 days. I mean what is the work right?"


The following points highlight the situations I've been in since last day and half.

  • Sleep on normal days never comes to me. You know all these people who say, I can't stay without sleeping blah blah. I would chide sneer remarks at such people except that now I'm falling in their category. I'm complete antithesis. Or so as I thought. Turns out, apart from being perpetually zonked in the morning and can't get myself up before 8. I'm so insensitive that I won't bother to see how is my sibling managing the entire work and making life easy (or so as it seems) for me by handling the pets, cleaning the house, making her breakfast and helping my grandfather with lunch. All this, while I sleep and complain about mosquitoes invading my privacy. I deserve bad karmas. I know. Alarms don't help.
  • The household probably realised the above point and gave it to me in the name of Karmas. I may not believe in any of these philosophies myself but one year of this discipline and half of them keep playing themselves on in my head. So you see, the water tanks breaks out completely, leaving the house flooded. No one knows how or what caused this, but it was not expected. Then all the plumbers listed in the phonebook decide to keep their cell-phones switched off and I forced to wake up my neighbour who was busy with his siesta (see, sleep has bothered to piss me off again). This chap, for some reason looks and behaves like Donald Duck and hence his nickname. Mr DD. is a grandfather so yes, he's old, but not that grandfather old. He just doesn't look like one, no he's not young either. He's strange, you know the ones who spit tobacco on their own staircase. Yeah, his daughter's from my college which is completely irrelevant in this post. But I just had a passing thought, that this whole household rant should appear proper, with gossip and all. (Edited to add Mr. DD just came to check if things are cool. )
  • Proceeding from the second point, Mr DD. managed to find us a plumber from yellow pages. The man was smiling more than required (was smiling a part of his job? I don't know) and declared in flat 14 seconds of examining, the tanks need to be changed completely. "Any other option?", "Not that I can think of, but you can get them walled with tiles, will take about three days.", and as he said this last drop of water flowed down, with the terrace which was stinking pool of algae and powerpub for mosquitoes to breed and get high. Puns Intended.
  • If all this wasn't enough, our pets sensed something is wrong (read: parents are away) and they decided to show how much they're missing them by puking and shatting all around the house. "It's summer stroke for our lab and old age in case of german shepherd", said my mum. So there is nothing to worry about as claimed by me.
  • Did I say, there is NO water in the house. Not much for cleaning and barely any left for drinking. Our water filter is connected with the tank water and since that isn't available, the fresh water pipe is clogged so no water from there. The plumbers that we called for today vandalised every nook of my washroom or loo or whatever you want to call it. They temporarily fixed the terrace, apparently . The main tiling or replacing thing will be done once the parents are back so much can't be spoken of.
  • The food is another major issue, when the three members of the house have all contradictory food habits and choices. My grandfather has grown on mughlai and everything gravy, my sister can eat anything and I am the fussy, non gravy, non everything. Very ex-nihilo-nihilfit. Combining them with our help who can't cook for nuts. Very fancy dinner plans I have tonight. Plans.

I can sense fresh water has come and I must dispose as many errands I can with the help of that. Did I also say, I cancelled a luncheon and have a birthday party which most likely gets cancelled too. Whoever said, "looking forward to vacations".

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  1. You're the housewife, a very bitchy one, or so it seems. The hard work will reflect on your waist line the next time. But me managing for 2 months, phew was a little easier. No barking, tweeting pets, but hey no helping sister either.
    Kudos! But you'll manage, as i said before I know so!

  2. :)
    I hope it turns out well. And waist line should go down in the process, yes that's worth looking forward to next academic session.

    Cheers for managing well at your end. You're an inspiration in true form.


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