Saturday, September 05, 2009

It's an ordinary weekend,ever ordinary saturday.It's my last saturday as a kid,and I am still indecisive and very confused over everything.Miseries were added by the crazy skin-breakouts I am having.They hurt,therefore I care.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.."

I miss bass playing,terribly,no matter how sick metronome tick gets and how monotonous the major scale sounds.
I also miss childhood fancies;gel pens,chips,boiled eggs and most of all I miss how gifts or surprises (irrespective whether material or not) would make me happy and I'd smile.
I don't want to care about Logic;Copi,syllogisms and propositions.However I want to care about the cover of my accountancy project,now that I don't indulge in it anymore.
I also want to spread myself in the enormous school corridor and worry about large portions of aggregate supply untouched.
I want to be with people who've seen me in my oversize school blazer and made fun of it always.
I want to get back in them blue stripes and white base school uniform with tattered canvas shoes (Bata) and play dumb-charade's.

I want to ask for free periods to complete bulletine board on time and cheer for my class during result in assembly.
I would like to go back to those Hindi classes,where discussions would flow free,without any hesitation and opinions were based on humanitarian grounds and we could be ourselves than pretending to be someone else.I don't want to see the face of that "PHD Hindi Teacher" from college as she is not half as competent as my language teacher in school.
I can hear the bell ring and the cotinuous roars of cheer as economics class just got cancelled.I can see the water cooler fights and singing "It's my life" in school assemblies.
I can feel the groove to the beat and see everyone doing waltz on some cheerful, tipsy punjabi music.
Also I can hear the distortions in the speakers as they would never work during school functions.
I want to sit next to the squirrels,under the shadow of tall and handsome Ashoka trees and sit there forever.
I want to run into every class and asking for a spare lab coat for friend who has her practicals.
I want the cake to be smeared all over my face,neck and eye brows and smell like rotten egg on my birthday (Shh,please hide the cake,I don't want it to get confiscated)
I can still survive on "just" tiffin boxes.Multicuisine is a hoax.That last bite of kebab was better than spending a bombshell to get food that makes one feel like an animals.
I'd still put up the excuse that the school canteen is under renovation,to the outsiders during interschool competitions, when it has never existed.
I want to sing "Our Father in Heaven" and National Anthem every morning,no body has stopped me ofcourse,as I am on time.
I want to be out of the class for script writing and directing the street play.
I too,want my friends to win in every dance competition.
Even now,I want to volunteer and work with people who've seen me loosing my milk teeth.
I want to count the days for school to get over and minutes for maths class to end so that I can breath a sigh of relief.

I want to be a voice,a part,an identity (the one which has detatched itself) and I want to be myself again without being judged.

Not that I hate college or something,but I've spent the last saturday night of my childhood wanting to do something better than what I am usually doing these days.

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