Medusa and Hemlock

Saturday, May 02, 2009

“You need a soul of Chengis Khan to survive Delhi’s heat”

Sarnath Banerjee

... Specially when you’ve organized the most zaniest re-union which had about fifteen “Cultured”, ”Convent educated girls”, literally killing their vocal chords and had ten times the energy of Dave Mustaine, and the audacity to go city’s most plush “English Wine and Beer Shop” under the pretext to pick up ‘breezer’ but ended up with four miniature vodka bottles and some five bottles of kingfisher for the rest of the bunch.

So it started with the basic fact, empty pad, folks away, let’s meet.”Great, but what about food?” – I certainly don’t love my friends that I can cook for a dozen underfed vultures. Zeroed on an old school way of pot luck . Drinks, Snacks and Desserts were on the house and the main course to be managed by guests. So according to the plan I arranged for everything possible. Invitations and confirmations were given to the person who has the best PR skills amongst us-women wednesday. Several hundred calls later when everything was done; on the D Day, I had to go for my bass lessons in the morning. Very Beautifully I cleaned the room and voila, locked house took the keys and left. Bass lesson sucked big time-primarily because I was off focus and I SUCK with the notes (that reminds me I have to come out with my own riff/line something before next lesson as well as do the notes.LORD.) Also that my mind was on the party, didn’t do much there and after leaving had to pick up ice cream. It slipped out of my mind and hence I had to go again. The bloody place was shut and then went to another one. Reached home and unlocked door one, door two. Bah! Realized that I locked the door from inside and there was no way that I could enter my own HOUSE.
I was frantic, almost on the verge of screaming. Ice-cream was melting, bass on one hand, bag on the other I was thinking of alternatives. Fire Extinguisher-No, Ambulance-No,Friends-NO,Erm ice cream ,melting on the stair case. Christ, what has gone in me, after bass block, now I locked myself out. Ultimately I broke one part of the door (yeah, can’t believe I did that),from where I put my hand and unlocked that bit. Once I got in I was under the worse panic attack. Doorbell within 5 minutes. Fuck I didn’t change my clothes, can’t join in like this. Sundry people,phew. Gave a call to women wednesday, she pacified me and within another five minutes I was done dressing up. My bed resembled some swish showroom with the difference that it had various articles of clothing as opposed to a speciality shop. Doorbell two- Siamese this time. Ah welcome, Oh no you’re the first one come in; You shook me all night long was blasting off speakers, I swayed around and got her a drink, recited my panic story and like perfect twin, she put me in peace and she got me a drink then, haha. Ana Banana was the second one to reach and gave her the drink and asked her to pick my sister off from school. By the time she was back, I.F. with Nali and Robo; Gee-Gee and Women Wednesday; Homie were already there. I prepared some chaat- Bhel Puri and Dahi Bhalla’s (yeah I can make them provided you make the bloody bhalla’s in advance and leave me with curd :P ) Drink or two later, I was grilling hash browns while Siamese and WW were pasting Thousand Island and cocktail dressing on the buns. It was insanity-ten girls in one kitchen, cooking . Right from grilling hash browns to serving, the mayhem and the screams coming could’ve killed someone for sure...
Then some one came up with a brilliant but already discussed idea, booze. After I was done making my I -shan’t-be-responsible-for-the-consequences speech, four of them left the place to pick up beer. Of course, they came back and by that time, Rose Bud and Chris had also joined in. We had a bet on,whether they’ll get it or not and I lost it. Five Kingfisher Beer bottles and four Smirnoff Raspberry Twist Vodka miniatures. Gulp. Let’s freeze them,great. Gee, WW and Homie were transferring food and then *power cut*. WTF-FTW-WTF-FTW-WTF..Oooo,bloody beer,it’s not even cold, you know that man was staring at me in the booze shop. Where is the bill? It’s in the school bag? Fuck you idiots, You took my school bag to buy beer? I didn’t have a jet plane you know, we had to walk. Now what, Let’s open the door, where’s Arika? Why isn’t she picking up her phone? Arrey I knew she’d ditch this, I could sense that. Would you shut up, Hello Ar.. ? Aunty is she coming? Ok..Guys she is not coming. Whatever …wait it’s her text, ok she’s coming in an hour.

Glutton’s gastric delight went on for an hour, and without electricity we still managed to over indulge in everything possible-pasta, dosa, rajma-rice, and god alone knows what more. So we did a time check, had to do the booze in another two hours before my sister’s math tutor drops by in. All of us were drenched in each other’s sweat, haha we’re maniacs. Staunch proponents of public display of affection in a way, yet straight. For the next hour we scrounged different parts of my house because I had no clue for the whereabouts of 12 beer mugs. Got around 6 martini glasses-all different sizes and did the usual-posing. Even people who can’t differentiate between manhattan’s and mojitos joined in for that. When we got down to drinking, several ideas poured in, for instance;

a-“Listen open only one bottle, just pour in a little like you do for pineapple crush and add coke to the rest so that we don’t smell of beer”
b-“Mix vodka and beer; they’ll be great.”
c-“Let’s get cigarette’s mate…That’d be so cool.”
d-“I am not drinking, but only one sip from everyone.”
Apparently people stared hard, when I decided to drink straight from bottle. Even in the situation where you’ve loaded up on food and there’s no electricity, we’re fucking sweaty, in the premises of my own pad, I couldn’t make a fool out of myself having beer in martini glasses. After that was over, smart asses they are-left the room, I had no fricking clue at that time but when I heard they’ve had the third vodka bottle, I was mad. Primarily because they didn’t tell me that they were starting and also that I didn’ t want any shit at my place. I managed whatever was left from the third and obviously electricity was back. Half an hour left before I had to clean up everything-make the living room presentable enough for the math teacher to make my sister focus in square roots than raspberry twist. Chewing Gums in-we headed to watch ahem, something which was high on demand and I had all the rights to it. Basically we started with couple of old video’s and the pleasure we derived. Words can describe that-if you were there, you’d know what I mean. Finally Siamese had to leave- her mum came to pick her up. As soon as she left, everyone started yelling, “Dessert, she missed it”. Hm, So I was again thrown in kitchen, Ana Banana came along and we served ice-cream with sponge cake and hot chocolate. It looked and smelled killer, only that people were a little partial towards ice-cream. But once everyone started, I think most of them came for third helping. Result- I didn’t get any and they got hold of few chocolate bars from the refrigerator and very smartly divided it amongst them. As soon as this got over, Homie, Gee, Rose-bud, Chris left as they had to travel a long way. Usual scene, got our camera’s and pretended to be some freelance directors and haggled our way out with auto-wallah’s. If I could throw in those video’s we’ve made while getting auto’s that’d be icing but alas.

After that we again had a power cut and by that time Nali was really high. Her eyes were red and she had lost her voice. She was suppose to perform on Saturday, but she said she would manage. Whatever happened to her show. After some time, even Arika left. She had her first driving lesson and since she didn’t touch beer or anything she was very much alert, punctuality et al. I guess we then decided to have a bed conference. Some lame photographs under the sheets and god knows quilt and under my laptop. Hm, consequences my room looked like we’ve raided a handloom outlet. Later when everyone was gone, baniya and I cleared my room. I played the her the bass riff I had in mind-which she approved. Though I don’t think I’d actually play that. At 7:30 the driver dropped her home, and I was just thinking of various ways, covering up about the door bit. We could handle the booze but the fucking door. After my folks were back, the first thing my sister told them was that. As usual, got blamed for being irresponsible and the rest.

The party was a success, crazy in it’s form, as I.F. said, “Next time, we are getting strippers!”. But who’s place?

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  1. As long as there's no drunken smsing, it's all good yo!

  2. You see we're totally broke when it comes to our cell phones.Also the keypad doesn't work,so no drunken crazy texts..!!

    But rest of it *explicit*

    *goes to sleep*

  3. I missed chocolate?

    *Sobs really hard*

  4. essyou needn't mention the-us-bieng-straight's not really "confirmed" for a few ......and moreover it's not that clear from your piece that whether all of us are "the sisters in of the convent".
    P.S.-arika had more than I did..she was rather dissapointed that it had no clear cut consequenses..........


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