Beneath the Hijab

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Liberating thoughts and chips are not the best option to begin blogging.Specially if the chips are "Juicy Tomato Ketchup" and are insanely sweet and the liberation is snatched for the lower end.I dont wish to be some Che Guevara's alter ego but what is denied currently is serious than everything else.Even 12 grade,which should actually be degraded.I havent had an opportunity to lay my hands on amplifier.My First Bass lesson did not take place,thanks to the responsive change in the degree of conservatism by dad.Shamelessly I played The Conjuring,as loud and hurtful:which brought in some peace with.Getting up and surviving is becoming a losing battle in the process of going through the atrocities of school[an erstworth mention to the crowd],my new eco coaching[my classmates have started resembling like humans after I've met people there].There is no visible trace of a room but uniform,shoes,bags scattered in a perfect Dirt manner.All the magazines,books have gone in the safe custody of the book rack (hidden library) till april ofcourse.The school library didnt have much this time.Got Karma Kola reissued alongwith something by Maupassant which I dont exactly remember.Jeez,I am completely losing the track of things,almost all of it being a faint attempt to retain,i go back and think hard.The pack lies like a completely rused cigarette,with the difference that,its neither over consumed till filter and no pleasure derived.Not even Tea is working here.Talking of cigarettes, well its more to be compared with flames around.You pick up one,Light on,get high for a while,then forget and repeat this till the fucking fagging faggot exists.Its all so condescending while being despicable at the same moment.
So I guess this whole began with my acceptance for some basic "bass fixing" classes which I had to somehow fit in my schedule[sounds like president of United States Of America]with an acquantaince.I think it was yesterday that he enquired,whether I was coming,so I finally confirmed for today,and was highly anticipating for the same.Unfortunately due to some Fucking toddler reason,I could not head for that and now I am in the self destructive behaviour.Somewhere back in my head there is constant denial to my 17 birthday and the terminals approaching.I am more than glad that finally this time is here and I am actually in the process of getting over with the school ordeal,but just struck me,here I am comfortably residing in the surrounding conjured with wannabe's.The admission process wont be easy afterall and even after making in,it'll be more than being independent.It will come at a cost.Its a strange but sublime feel attached.Growing up in terms of numbers will not lead anywhere.My inhibitions,makes me fucking feel like a 5 grader..who fumbles his way across while putting a point.There is a certain amount of futuristic planning.The place I aim,the person I long to be,let them be far fetched.Atleast its coming in.Even through the hijab,I say bring it on...

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