The Punjabi in me is craving Namak-Ajwain ki Praunthi with Amul Butter and Nimbu ka khatta meetha achaar.

Let the world know my first sentence on my erstwhile blog is nothing but a graveyard hour craving. Pig.

The first day of the *ew* year had me go to a place I despise, indulge in third worst kind of shopping type (Indian function outfit; followed by lingerie shopping and window shopping on first and second slot) and eat a burnt mutton burger, which had far more salad than an entire Subway store. If that doesn't cut it for you, my day also included that gorgeous nail paint getting chipped and filing my nails in such obnoxious shape that they ought to have failed me in SUPW/Art class which was suppose to teach us to maintain finesse. My ass. Convent school taught me nothing but hymns and prayers. Rantage, meet PMS.

At some point of the day I also skipped breakfast and dinner and had a brunch, comprising of Aloo Praunthi, with yellow butter. I don't know why I felt like sharing that information. Perhaps because tidying up nails and painting them fluorescent red/embarrassing pink wasn't good enough. I've also skipped the medication so you can safely say, defiance at it's best.

If the first day of the year is to reflect on the rest of the 364 days which are going to constitute Twenty Fifteen, then thankyouverymuch. I'd like to pass. Now, where is that button to skip and move to 2016?

No seriously, the thesis will write itself out.
The nails shall grow and be painted all on their own.
I'd actually learn a skill or two to be used at a workplace (if I am ever employed again).

If you were to ask me, why am I even bothering to update here (which I am sure as hell, you're not interested in asking, if you're still reading i.e.), it is because updating the 'blog' regularly is a part of the resolution. As is reading the newspaper. Two years ago if you would have mentioned that these two would become my yearly resolution, I'd have laughed at you in disbelief and asked you if you're tripping on marijuana. Two years down the line, I'd have probably asked you to share some marijuana with me while I'd go on trying to explain my absence and uninterestedness in life and affairs with my silence while pretending to engage in deep thought. Case in point, I've started blogging elsewhere. I wrote first solitary post, which I took over 8 hours to write and edit- the longest I've taken to conceive a write-up that didn't amount to a grade or some green in the bank. The result's fantastic. Everyone who's read it loves it. They love the style, the vibe and the tone. Nothing like Snobster's rant.

Unfortunately, like most treasured associations in life, Blogger has fallen under the same gaze of disgust and apprehension, that which I treat any loved one with. There is an immense amount of drama, disdain, unfiltered emotions at bay which translates into passive aggressive arguments, verbal dialogues (often they are not healthy and friendly) and ending up tearing these associations into bleak salutary role, which they play in my life and vice versa. The blog of seven going on eight year old, becomes a liability, new blog takes providence. Similarly, parents become a figure of authority who are as good as the government and their role in shaping the country. Friends turn into acquaintances because of over-knowing them and relationships don't last beyond ninety days, anything over that is unreal and all in the imagination. I don't have the nerves to take it and make it what they claim forever. This year, I've taken a vow to restructure my relationship with virtual material and physical material beings. Human beings? They're down, right at the bottom of my list of 'You'll only always let me down' and I'm not touching that parchment, unless ofcourse I'm adding names onto it (and I've a very strong feeling, this year, it'll be exceeding the number from 2013). Afterall, even years you reap and odd years you sow.

I'm going to be 'pre-occupied' doing things other human beings expect me to do, for a next couple of days. I'm suppose to attend a friend's sister's wedding tomorrow, dinner at a friend's restaurant, celebrating 24 years of existence (more on that, later) and I've dodged a shopping, a movie and a farewell dinner, all the same for all this). Like I said, barely a day into the year and I've already disappointed people (and vice versa). I can't help it if you can't keep up with me but this fucking year, I've resolved to not bend over backwards for anyone to come and screw me/with me. You need something? Either it's my way or the door. Show yourself out.

I'm now craving Palak Paneer. Fuck my life.