I have a new found theory about relationships. Particularly, the ones that we see floating around us.

that friend, yes.

My theory applies to people like me, who will sit at a distance, fuck their particularly happy life, wasting mental space conjuring one sided romance in the head with one person they think will be what their friend has (the one who gets her a joint, does barbecue, the one who bakes him a cake occasionally). What people like me forget is that we are incapable of dealing with other people. Forging relationships is like trying to sail from Asia to Antarctica for us, in a fucking Titanic. For others it may be making the journey in a boat or yacht or whatever a bus/submarine.

I've just been struck with reality. How I'm going to die single and there will be my friends and their boyfriends on terrace, erstwhile husbands, doing barbecue for them.

Good for them, I say.