Resigned myself to lifelong sadness that comes from never being satisfied.

I last wrote here when I was still 2o. To this day, I'm 21 and 1o days old. Two parties, bunch of drinks and a substantial few anti-histamines down, surviving and seeing the face of college every day. It can't get any more gruelling than this, college ie. In the last month and a half, I've gotten into a row with cops, administration, lecturers and students. I hope for my sake that this is just a part of teething troubles that one ought to face after joining a new institution.

Birthday was pleasant. I was smiling throughout, no one annoyed me (much) and was out for most part of the day. The flat party was something else, subtle music, dim light and a very drunk me. Next morning onwards I just found myself repeating this, "When did that happen?". Ofcourse, in that comprised embarrassing stories and my lines.

I think I ought to have followed Zadie Smith's advice of shutting internet off before starting to write. I've spent my day from 8 am to 12 am outside. Came home, had the strongest urge to write. What? Don't know. Just decided to fill in details of last few days here. Strange sensation in head overpowers. Must write later about sound design, birthday gifts and all that's up.

Currently- not looking forward to over 1o hours of theatre tomorrow. Take a pistol, already.