BugmeBerry

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Look at that pretty, little egg yolk yellow-esque piece of rock that is lying besides you. Pick it up, unlock and let it hypnotize you to fall for it without even realizing that you're going to waste next 1o minutes fiddling with it and possibly next 2o minutes thinking about the activity you wasted your time indulging in.

BlackBerry.

For the dummies, BlackBerry comes with an inbuild BlackBerry messenger that can be brought handy with a monthly amount set aside for your telecom provider. Ofcourse, depending on your "needs" you could opt for expensive plans with internet on the go along with browsing, mails and messenger service.

I was blessed with one way before it got the whole "sell out" tag line. Maybe, it was always around this piece of nuisance, that's why I opposed my father buying it as a birthday gift. But then, I rebel without a cause so he doesn't usually pay any attention to that. There it was, a week before my 18 birthday. I was one of the first few (second to be precise) to possess this and that did not qualify me as "cool" or anything. All it did was to snatch my piece of mind away.

I didn't particularly react much because I started working with a magazine a week after my birthday and I used to be always on the go-replying the mails/editing articles all with this so more or less I was satisfied with the way things were working. I didn't have half the world on my blackberry messenger list and I could do with my dad's once in a while "where are you?" questions. Besides, back then the questions were limited to "which class? What room?" Unlike now that go on from asking me "know any close by government office?" Yeah sure. Dial my number. I'm google.

It's as simple as this. I'm sitting on the chair thinking if I should do Aristotle or Socrates and I convince myself to do latter. I take my notes out, spread it all across the bed and ignore the magazine lying next to the notepad because I've convinced myself that next one hour will yield result. I will spoil myself with the air-conditioner, pour myself some coconut water and put Oscar Peterson Trio on repeat and sit and open the notes. Now, as soon as I do that I'm distracted by the LED flashing besides my pen. I take my blackberry in my hand, read the IM from my classmate, a forward/a question usually taking about 3 minutes to answer/react/respond/ignore (depending upon the urgency and the relationship I share with the sender). After I figure that out, I'm distracted with the red dot which has a white star inside indicating update/message. I click on that to read unwittingly long conversation between three other friends about a guy (who is usually dead, for example Aristotle) and generally useless stuff via status updates. I attempt to begin with Aristotle and in this process good 1o minutes pass. I read about a chapter and then again see the fucking LED flashing. I pick it up to see a fucking lameass mail about how someone clicked on some spam link on facebook and they've tagged me in a picture/video where I'm not there and posted questions on my wall which may ask me if I find myself attractive or ugly (right). If I'm particularly agitated, I'll login to facebook via mobile web, untag myself and probably post on the person's wall to fuck off elsewhere or call that person out of agitation (to stop facebook-ing if you're daft enough to not know the difference between spam and genuine links; that has happened, yes). Result: time waste. Cause: BlackBerry.

Of all the things that bother me the most about "BBM" is the sheer hypocrisy it brings along. I get it, humans have a tendency to act this way as much as they want and BBM is just the biggest proof for it. So you could be "busy" and dying but you wouldn't forget to update your status saying "DND" and five seconds later come up with a status saying "LOL, what a comeback XYZ". Again, it's your choice to go through this whole check the status shit but it gets to you after a level and you soon see yourself drawing close to updating the lamest status about how you cooked mutton stew for the first time while talking to a friend. Simultaneously.

Another thing that bothers me is the perception that world lives in with, about me. I've built a certain reputation about using this and how I'm "addicted" and "obsessed" with it. It isn't true. I don't flash my phone in the middle of a class. I don't text/bbm people in the middle of a real life face to face conversation and I don't always have it in front of me to check and talk to my "BBM Friends" or text like that. It's annoying to see how people generalize about you having a smartphone. A friend I jammed with during college function did the same thing. I'm sitting and having lunch and talking to a friend on bbm and she comes, gives a hasty judgement as to how I should be guilty conscious because I'm always on my phone and how I'm addicted to it. Okay, I'll ignore you, texting while I'm making a conversation with you about the power failure. I'll also ignore the constantly on the BBM friend and when others use the group chat feature, that person is the first one to stand and say "cn u plz nt distrb me. I'm tryng to sleep". No, putting your blackberry on silent is not an option.

If I have to define it in two words it'd be "time-waste". I could add fancy terms to elucidate my general dislike for this darned device but then again I'm going to be a hypcrite while I say that. I've had some really good time bonding with people using this and I sincerely believe I'd have never spoken to them half as much as I did while I used this. Take it like facebook. It has it's pros and cons and tends to get interfering while you're out for a movie or attempting to study but it has got it's act together. Now, I am always "available" for my friends and my family (on the darned blackberry messenger". I agree it was quite an improvement to move from a chinese phone to nokia to blackberry back then but it was never a kind of thing I was dying for. I'd have been happier with a new bass or a DSLR.

But it wouldn't allow me to be "available" to the world, to become their google while I would type out my miseries on this damn device and post it via "mobile web" because I choose to be a recluse in my sabbatical during the University Exams.

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