Peace and Solitude -an Illusion?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Act I

Scene 1

*phone rings rather shrills*

Now I'm trying to look for some peace and hence a futile attempt to practice "Retirement and Death Of a Partner in a Partnership Firm".Underpaid yours truly runs to pick up,leaving all the "Rohit","Bal" and "Khosla" in the text and ..,
"Hello..?"..,
,"HELLO AAP DEKH RAHE HONGE T.V...PAAS HI ME HOGA REMOTE CONTROL,PAR KYA AAP JAANTE HAI? EK PHONE CALL AAPKI KISMAT BADAL SAKTI HAI.DIAL KARE *insert random 10 digit number* AUR JEETIYE 10 KILO SONA..YAAD RAKHE ABHI DIAL KARE AUR PAAYE SONA VO BHI MUFT,JALDI KEEJIYEE..."
"Whatever fuck dude..Shut the fuck up..",

Scene 2

Accountancy class,teaching business studies;Business finance over in 2 days,rather in 3 periods.

"Nooow Lissen Heaar Kilaas..Joo(read:you,pronounced as Joo or Jou) have alrady done Cansumar Protacshun befour the exaams,now joo have complted this,joo are left with only two chapters,"Markating" and "Sources.."(of business finance which the person concerned felt lazy to recite) out of which we shall do sources after the diwali vacation and then markating after the annual phunction...then your book will be over"
,"But Ma'am there's another chapter left,the last one on page 304,Entrepreneurship Development(pronounced as On-troh-pron-your-ship Dwell-up-ment)..won't we do that for the mock?"
,"haiiiiii???? Whaat??","Ma'am the last chapter of the book,after Consumer protection??",I was doing a mono-act here.It feels like alienated in the classroom sometimes.
"Yeh kuch chapter ki baat kar rahi hai jo sirf iski book me hai...,"
This time I'm mad..I can't take this useless nonsense,I interject without showing any respect.*addressing to a person sitting on the other side of the largest classroom who's heard some bits from this*
"Dude,show her the book..",.."Ma'am voh *in her modified lingo to accomodate the person concernedentarpranurship devilupment ki baat kar rahi hai*shows book*"..
"Achha Vohh,voh aapke syllabus me naiiiii haiiii..ThatT is natt included in the marking scheme givan by the C.B.S.E".

...Sadly My English Teacher believes that our parents can't understand Shakepeare and thus there is no valid point in performing "As you like it" on stage.

Scene 3
1:49 pm
Anky won the best speaker award at the "Youth Parliament" yesterday alongside Vish.Now I am informed about all this after 24 hours.Obviously I can't hold my excitement any longer and hence :-
"Congratulations *explicit content*highly volatile on screen* You made us all fricking proud,I knew you'd be kickass there man..".."Anks..Hello.?? You there??"
*snoring hard*
"do you mind but ...arrghhh I am trying to sleep"..,"look at the time,it's almost 2 and you are sleeping,,People at the parliament do not sleep for shit you know !"
," yeah right,and they are not asked to portray all the goody two side of the world politics..We lost the entire thing,the winning team was late and the judges were looking for a happy ending speech,and we obviously didn't show all that."..,"You mean they were looking for a fake political bus-ride? as in whole lot of parliament without the vent? or just the conclusion bit?"..,"kinda..the winning team *insert the school's name* ended on a melodious note hence we lost..","whatever there's no escaping a treat? ok or else a little Munch anything on Earth Anks.."

Scene 4

in the periphery of an unknown place called sport's room with the company of two classmates,me and Anky yet again..
"Where on carnation is the photographer..??",asked a grim faced,always lethargic and grub-greedy Anky..,"Hmm he was here a minute a ago,perhaps some apparition act or something..you know you saw him as well."
"arey,please yaar we don't have zyada time na..Muje kaam hai,jab voh aaye to hume bula lena.."snaps a restless someone whose mother owns a salon(that comes to action wait.),..,"Listen,I can't get this thing done today,I haven't been able to drop at the placeto get my things done ,I don't think it's a good idea to stand for the Cut-Copy-Paste thing right today ..","don't act like a molten wax model now,screw your arms and get your picture today..That man has already delayed it,He submitted the Class photograph in the Biblical era for the magazine and you should be ashamed that being in the editorial board your picture is nowhere and so is your name..and the staff is *^*&^$$#%#$@*(&)*__0 you did fricking selection amongst the 3000 articles-poems..", I tried to divert myself.Yes I did all the work along with a junior who made it with me.These days me and Anky hardly get any assingments together.I was thinking a different tune,"P***** ,your mum still has that salon??" I asked the restless chick..,"haan tuje yaad hai,,arrwy haaaSSSSSS"..,"Acha,teri mom ka parlour hai?? ,
"Yaar ek package free dede yaar,please yaar Shaadi ka gift samaj kar dede yaar,unko bol free make-up for Shaadi and Farwell Make-up 50% off yaar please yaar...",
Anky seems to loose it when she's in my viscinity..
"WhateverTheFuck,What is wrong with you ?? Why are you thinking of your fucking matrimony,,Look for the photographer,we are missing the entire numerical-practice..I suck at them.".I was worried to death,almost failed attempt to bunk economics with the photograph as a messiah,now the man was missing and these ass's bargaining for the marriage ,the restless chick being serious..,"nai yaar 30% nai..poora gift package..Chal mai tuje invite bhi karlungi shaadi par"..Anky was being at her sarcastic best,it comes to her naturally,Queen of Camouflage and deception,"Nai yaar nai ho paayega,hume bhi itna margin nai hota.."..All the rest of them were serious.

Thank God for John Lagie Baird.

Ps- It simply went out of my mind,My aggregate for the Half-Yearly's is 73.5% .I.F. chided me really bad for the same.I am passing accountancy with 60 that is an alarmingly low score.Economics and Hindi 78, fourth highest and highest respectively{the hindi batch has only 3 students out of which two appeared for the exam),english 71(second highest,and I have lost all hopes for admission in the Hons in this sphere),Fresh and succelent,81 in Business Studies(third highest).Whoever said Skill Development and hardwork go hand in hand.

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3 comments

  1. lol... Those pronunciations are hilarious ! Your school should chuck her out :P
    Your score's pretty much fine. cbse board exams are easier than the school exams..so you can hope of scoring more ! Good luck :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Scene 1

    Here’s an addition to the grumble-mumble list:

    Yesterday, to thrash a plan (too cold to step out here, thanks to my coconut-ty habitation) I dialed the friend’s number.
    ‘Dear Customer, apka Airtel Prepaid grace period mein hai. Kripya apna…’

    I checked my balance.

    13.95

    After a series of ornate phrases, I reached out to my mommy’s cell phone to do the job.

    Circa an hour and a half later I get this text-

    ‘Thanks for subscribing to Mitti ke Rang. Just dial-…’

    I checked my balance again. Hm? Then with my nose touching the screen I realized the presence of a very refined ‘-’ before the 13.95.

    Scene 2

    Loved the dialectal accent.

    PS: SAS, and you ‘considered’ playing As You Like It? :O

    PPS: Maybe in Kannur it’ll be Hit show? >_<

    Scene 4

    SpellBee couldn’t resist the viscinity. (A carnage awaited hereafter.)
    And what unbelievable banter!

    Your aggregate isn’t half as bad as you think it is. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Umm Goldhawk,I think your sources are inactive,but we actually did,"As you like it".A part of it,but still.
    And as for my aggregate,it's slipped to 68% for mock.Shame isn't it?

    ReplyDelete

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