A Crazy Little Thing Called C.B.S.E.

Friday, May 23, 2008

This day in history:

23 May,1991- A girl by the name of Akanksha Lochan came into existence,who later,somwhere around 1995 A.D. became my first ever B.F.F. when i didnt even know what lunaticism,moronic-identity meant

23 May,2000-'06,2008- Class xii C.B.S.E. results were/are announced and many magnificent loosers fall in the category of :-

"humaari-zindagi-tabah-kar-di-in-saale-boards-ne."

Every year after wishing Lochan ,we always discussed ,how she would probably faint early in the morning on her best day ,that too rather 18 one if the trend continues....

Lesson learnt here- I am CURRENTLY studying in 12. NO it WASNT my result today.Save the consolation for your next door neighbour who is currently under those bright yellow sheets ,starving and whining because she scored a 81% and probably is mislead by some M************g jerks who are great at conniving and making people believe that
"No college Now..,Beta....81 me to kuch nai ho sakta..dekh lo try kar ke...Hamari *insert Random Name* ne to *random marks* laakar hamaare akbar wale khaandan ka naam roshan [Hrithik and Rajesh Both] kar diya tha...."


My message to all you reading this,please make such Mohan Unclez and Leela aUntiez read this...Mr Ashok Ganguly i'd be rather honoured if you just glance it
To all you people out there who are my some *random uncle's and Aunt's* dont freak out as you read this post,it might have some expletives which might shock you or give you a nervous breakdown but again even Sidney Sheldon used them and that's how it is....


Presenting to you with all the drama,wierdness and my perspective

*DRUM ROLLS* the great theory of a Magnificent Looser who gave 10 boards,analysed result and now Looking at the deep shit happening.

Ok flashback 10 grade,
Me a very aggresive,creative,*insert whatever you want to think-you-are-free-to-add*
chick had problem applying myslef in maths particularly. Now , my parents were particularly supportive [NO i DID NOT HAVE DYSLEXIA] and were ecstatic with joy when they saw my result on the fateful morning of 29,may,2007[eh!? was that?] that i finally cleared the subject[and if you really wanna know how much i scored in maths do your own damn research!].No problems..

Yes there was one..my english score...i was devastated with 80...no i was never that nerd sitting in corner and declaring "I detest Indian Television" but i dont think i ought to have scored anything less than a 95 or so.and till today i dont understand where did i loose marks.??

May that human,who was the examiner for my english exam never stays in peace,may her child runs from home with some Hippie and may she never finds amoeba on her toe-nail consuming the fungus and that amoeba dies..

Came 11 grade,i was this confident young girl who Dropped maths and was the happiest girl in town [you see! all good things in life are free].Boo Hoo Hoo
that's not the point

In one of the PTM's when mum talked to my language teacher ,she explained my mum that my level of writing was beyond what CBSE asks for..its not what the examiners expect.as a result i loose out that area,they fail to understand my POV and hence i totally suck[that's what she meant and not that she expressed!]

Coming to the point,now Motherjane was really depressed,sad,dejected ;she thinks she deserves worse future than the women/man or whichever category that animal came who corrected my english exam....worse she didnt even laugh at the joke i cracked[sorry to be personal,i cant reveal the joke here..]

alas she came lil sane,wierd as usual when i told her that colleges are loads better, even if you have that stupid tag called getting 95 something in english or anything then only you'd get admission otherwise you are so dead..Colleges dont give you a second look even if you scored a certain 95 in all ruddy subjects but english..and for courses like English Hons. not even 95..They want that Brain or mastermind who can express thyself effectively,and not like the book cramming way or the stereotyped essays which were written in 1287 A.D. and are still prevalent 'cuz CBSE wants you to write that in your "WRITING SECTION"

Motherjane starved herself...i shamelessly ate chocolate when i was offered after my result-lowest in my tuition centre that year in maths...under one of the best tutors in Delhi...[no Jane,not lowest ever i said that to cheer you up I'm your friend re......there were worse cases than mine before]

Motherjane's a very good pal..always stuck with me whenever i most needed her...my true 3 am friend..she is apparently not glad with what happened..whatever she cribbed today..i could so totally relate...

but i know no darn 3 hours and 5 days can decided her future..CBSE curbs indivisual talents and hence they SUCK!


So as a result,my super sarcasm filled,uber famous blog gives way to
*DRUM ROLLS*
the award of most Psycho freak organisation

Central Board Of Secondary Education



I cant possible imagine writing a whole piece on education system...Shit! where am i going....


I am going

Goin

Gawn......





Stereotyped!
Cliched!
Blah!

I must be crazy doing it...but i still am same..wierd!!! :P

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6 comments

  1. no u r not weird and i agree with every single word u wrote there..!
    central board of *sucking* education!
    p.s. did u see the news? me was shocked!
    p.p.s.UT on mentronation?? dancing n jumping??? *faints...*
    p.p.p.s.ysterday was loachans b'day?? damn! missed it..lol n ya..me wrote a poem..its on the blog

    ReplyDelete
  2. dude ne little respect i mite hv had fr CBSE till date has gone down d drain.....d f****** system has ruined d future of sum of d brightest minds......
    i jus passd outta 12th n u shld c d english marks of r skool....ppl huv gt 95+ in all oder subjects/any stream hav gt in 60s in eng....its SAD....ppl huv gt awesum marks in d SAT n gt into harvard/brown/warwick....u name it havnt crossed a 70...ironically govt skools hav gt in 80s-90s...n MR.Ganguly tells d media that d students of pvt skools dunt study eng coz deyr too busy concentrating in oder subjects....!?

    p.s. hwd u intern wid ndtv if ur in 11/12th?

    ReplyDelete
  3. cbse???u olryt???i noe v both r eagerly w8in 4 D xamz so dt v mv outta skul asap..bt still...dun b aftr cbse xamz dey r d 1s who'l gt us outta skul!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Here is an extract from..er..my brain..prior to 23rd of May (That wretched day!)
    ----------------------------------
    Well, the board results will be out soon.. and suddenly the whole fraternity called ‘the family’ wants to have a word with me!

    “Don’t keep thinking about it”
    I wasn’t, until you called……

    “It’s alright, you’ll score well”
    Oh yeah?

    “The marks don’t really matter, y’know”
    Hah! I know that very well..

    “There are so many courses nowadays”
    Hmm.. Right!

    “Your cousin took up architecture and she’s earning in lakhs!”
    There you go again….!

    “My son had scored just 85% in boards, but he’s in The States now!”
    85% in 1982 B.C. = 99.999% in 2008 A.D!

    “Don’t worry at all. Even if you get just 90%, it would be more than enough”
    Whaaaaaaat!!

    “And don’t be nervous at all”
    Yeah. I feel muchhh better. Thank you!
    ----------------------------------
    So that was how it had been.
    But on 23rd, 10.30am(that's when i got up)-
    ENGLISH- 84

    What! *%*(&#$*^%#&@%*&^)!!!!!!

    As if that wasn't enough, my mommy dearest pointed out that some...er..well, i dont know the name..(even such people!)..got 85+ in English.

    My day was spent in sobs.
    My sympathies with Jane.

    *mutters some curses(to CBSE!)*

    ReplyDelete
  5. mother jane haz acquired nirvana bludy cbse u tried to f**K up mah future bt guess wht i made it to stephens !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yea and mumjane has announced a massive party at ??
    where mom,let us know,bloody Stephanian? all standing ovation,!
    you totally deserved it;)
    cbse sucks \m/

    ReplyDelete

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